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Title: New Guy at Work
It was the first day for Tom, the new guy at the office, and everyone was excited to welcome him. In the break room, he confidently announced that he was an expert at making coffee. With a grin, he set about impressing everyone with his skills. However, in his zeal, he mistakenly grabbed the salt instead of the sugar. Unbeknownst to him, he whipped up a batch of what he thought was a special coffee blend, which turned out to be more like a salt lick in a cup.
When he proudly served the steaming mugs to the team, expecting cheers for his “signature drink,” our collective facial expressions shifted from anticipation to pure confusion, and then to barely withheld laughter. Watching Tom take that first sip, his face contorting in disbelief, was the best part of the day. Turns out, he became the office hero—not for his coffee skills, but for providing us with a hilarious reminder to always double-check our ingredients. Now, “Tom’s special” is a running joke, and we’ve all agreed to stick to instant coffee just to be safe!
in Funny
new employee at the office
S
Call it “whole brew” and sell for 10 bucks a cup
R
Extra Virgin Arabica Beans 🤣
D
Extra Virgin Barista
A
“Essence of coffee”
H
La croix cafe
P
La croffee
C
Glad I wasn’t the only person who had this thought lol
N
“Infused”
P
“Artisan”
O
Maybe holistic coffee?
5
Homeopathic coffee
M
Hot bean water
A
Hot ham water!!
M
Watery with a smack of ham!
S
So watery! And yet there’s a smack of bean to it!
R
The Vitamin water of coffee
S
Can I have a cup of CofTea?
R
“Raw and unadulterated”
R
who doesn’t love freshly rinsed hot bean juice for breakfast?
F
I get my bean juice from Chipotle
L
I get mine from Taco Bell
[
[removed]
T
You sit outside.
J
I eat Taco Bell and then I make bean juice afterwards! Freebie!
R
Nothing I like more than trying to eat a burrito and getting soaked from my wrist to my elbow in bean juice. I’m too pansy to say shit but you fucking know what you’re doing when you don’t pause for just a second and let the beans drain through that slatted spoon. I know– they pay you shit and overwork you and I’m there with you buddy, I’m sorry. But man that fucks my lunch up so bad. By the same token, here’s a little toast to the Chipotle workers who angle the spoon against hte side of the container and really drain that shit out before putting it on my burrito. You’re the bomb.
B
Chipotle gives *me* bean juice
G
>I get my bean juice from Chipotle The bean juice comes later
A
I only get my sour cream liquid from chipotle
–
That with a nice bowl of Hot Ham Water is my go to morning meal.
S
So watery… and yet there’s a smack of ham to it
M
Maybe some cornballs on the side.
N
Never touch the Cornballer
F
I’ve made a huge mistake…
M
*sizzle* EVERY DAMN TIME
A
You say that, but coffee is just hot bean juice anyway
R
ground bean juice > rinsed bean juice
F
Years ago I gave up being a coffee snob and settled on saying “as long as you enjoy your coffee.” If some savage wants to brew their unground coffee beans or drink pre-ground Folgers, then who am I to judge?
D
I love coffee but honestly at home all I have the energy for these days is instant nescafe packs. I also drink Folgers at work. I appreciate the good stuff but have learned to live with mediocrity.
H
It hurts my beans that you choose mediocrity in your brew. That said, if you live near any Asian supermarkets, check out their available instant coffee packs. Vietnam produces some incredibly good instant coffees. Indonesia too.
R
Freedom of Juice types is the paramount of personal choice… it’s still going to make me call it gross, but choices are choices.
S
It’s like one step under an Americano.
A
How could a member of my own family say something so terrible?
F
Leaves from the vine, falling so slow Like tiny fragile shells drifting in the foam. Little soldier boy, come marching home Brave soldier boy, come marching home
T
Bob Newhart had a classic bit from way back in the 1960s about trying to introduce coffee and cigarettes to England from the new world https://youtu.be/EImgHuqQsuk?si=tsfg1fzhD0vAmDIa
E
How could a random person on the internet say something so horrible!?!
C
“How could a member of my own family say something so horrible?” Iroh
J
Much like tea is just hot leaf juice, coffee is just hot bean juice
V
“How could a member of my own family say something so horrible!” – Uncle Iroh
D
Uncle… that’s what *all* coffee is. 👁👃🔥
V
Your Zuko reference is great but the scar is on the wrong side
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