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Last week, I decided I was ready to embrace the future and bought myself a fancy smartwatch. I pictured myself effortlessly tracking my steps, receiving notifications, and feeling like I was living in a sci-fi movie. However, after a few hours of trying to figure out how to set it up, I accidentally activated nearly every single notification imaginable and proceeded to get bombarded with alerts for the rest of the day. The best part? The watch kept reminding me to stand up—while I was on the couch, deeply invested in a significant episode of my favorite show.
Imagine me leaping off the couch every 30 minutes, only to realize I didn’t need to “stand up”—I just needed to stand **still** while mastering the art of binge-watching. By the end of the week, I did the only sensible thing: I switched back to my good old wristwatch. At least it doesn’t buzz incessantly or encourage me to leave my snack reserves. Plus, the most exercise I need is reaching my hand over to the remote.
in Funny
I believe I’ll simply continue using a wristwatch.
D
Someone let Butch know his father’s watch has been found.
E
analog? Nah. Anal log.
P
You can’t just Walken here with that joke
S
Maybe if he came in with more cow bell?
D
You mean to say it was not in the kangaroo all this time?
S
Makes me think of the Christopher Walken watch scene in Pulp Fiction. 😳
P
I had this…. Uncomfortable, hunk of metal… Up my ayrse
P
Pride only hurts, it never helps. Until you need to get medieval on yo’ @55!
W
My first thought exactly.
R
[Here’s the backstory on that watch](https://youtu.be/kWp6hZ-5ndc)
E
hahahahaha at first I said whats the relation between these two watches then at the end I understood
M
🏆 ^^ Award
D
We don’t have a lost and found box. We have an ass box.
A
I don’t know what to tell you, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea
L
Can you check my watch? I need to know what time it is.
G
Your father wanted you to have this…
M
Just wait until you feel that Swiss movement!
D
The brown colored dial really sells it.
T
Watch or don’t. Anal is happening.
N
Cue the Christopher Walken gifs.
D
feel the tik tak…
K
Adds more texture while the fist is up there
R
What do you put it on?
D
On an anal log?🚽🕰️
S
Does it fit in a prison purse?
N
Wristwatch crisco
O
I would say not another person here would have any idea where that came from. Love FZ saw him many times.
M
“Wristband deep inside the borderline.” “Show me that you love me, relax, turn around and take my hand”
C
https://youtu.be/kWp6hZ-5ndc?si=HzaTIM38PyoC1Gni
A
Takes a licking and keeps on ticking
H
Oh honey, would you look at the time!
H
It’s kinda shitty, isn’t it?
S
I had to look closely to see the brand and its a CAS MNS ANAL WATCH for $40.92
B
It’s got a natural lubricant built into it that makes it slide in and out easy.
W
Perfect gift for someone who’s got their head up their arse! 👍
R
Why does it remind me of part of this [Patton Oswalt bit about Robert Evans.](https://youtu.be/jkN226PToig?si=nwYAf5qaATvSMnAl). “Quit your belly aching, Buck Rogers, it’s just a diver’s watch!”
N
It’s a butt time.
V
I’d watch
R
Don’t mind the odor. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
O
Takes a sticking and keeps on ticking 🤔
S
Just make sure it’s not a minute repeater. It can be awkward in certain situations.
B
To make sure your ass is always on time, Tyrone!
S
lol
C
I’ve heard of timing your runs, but I don’t think that’s appropriate here(!). 😏
M
How do you see the time. Does it come with a mirror?
H
As a connoisseur of the anal watch, it’s well worth it to splurge a little when deciding on one. These 40 dollars “Walmart” anal watches tear shit up down there. Always side with quality.
S
It can be two things!
C
Is this Walmart? Does the .92 mean it’s discontinued? Or?
S
George is getting kinky.
M
Specially designed for Proctologists. It can easily be retrieved if they lose it when they elbow deep with their arm up your ass.
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