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Title: Found a roast list in my little sister’s room
So, the other day, I was searching for my favorite pair of headphones in my little sister’s room when I stumbled upon this crumpled piece of paper under her bed. Curiosity got the better of me, and I unrolled it, only to discover it was a roast list! She had cleverly titled it “The Roast of the Century,” and it featured some of our family members, friends, and even her teachers. I couldn’t believe my eyes; she’d even included a section on my dad, noting that his cooking was so questionable it could make a microwave pizza look like fine dining.
Honestly, the whole thing was hysterical, especially when I read her line about how our mom should star in a cooking show called “Surviving Dinner with Mom,” which had me in stitches. I had to admire her creativity and wit, even if I was a bit worried about the possible consequences of being roasted by an eight-year-old! And let’s be real, after reading her list, I now totally get why she hesitated to ask Dad to help her with her homework – who wouldn’t want to avoid a recipe for chaos?
in Funny
Discovered a roast list in my younger sister’s room.
E
I tried to roast my 10 year old daughter and she said “I’d roast you back but we’re not supposed to burn trash”. You gotta be careful around these kids.
J
I think they practice on each other all day. Step carefully around the danger zone!
O
My 7 year old daughter told me yesterday that her and her friends roast each other on the bus for fun.
A
Long School Bus rides have created a whole generation of insult comics.
M
Jokes on her, she is half trash
S
Don’t talk about her mother like that
L
Sorry dad
A
We used a version of this back in the 70s. When someone says, “Make me”, the correct reply was “I don’t make trash, I burn it”. It’s funny how times change and humor adapts accordingly.
J
Your little sister is merciless.
F
In my head, I’m just imagining her sister’s like six and in kindergarten; just destroying people during nap time.
N
Do they still let kindergartners have a nap time? I’m pretty sure neither of mine did…
D
No, we don’t, at least not in SPED.
X
We do here in Arkansas. Although every time I’ve substituted, MAYBE one would actually nap.
Z
For real this is like an assassins checklist, someone at lunch is about the get straight LOL’d on
P
BURN!
L
My favorite by far – “you must have been born on a highway, that’s where most accidents happen”
P
I’m 38 and that would hurt my feelings if someone said that to me
K
The most devastating one ive ever heard was “Robin Williams wouldnt try and make you laugh”
C
After meeting you, even Bob Ross says some accidents are sad.
F
Mr. Rogers thinks you could use some improvement
I
Mr,. Roger’s doesn’t even want you as a neighbor
M
Wow. I felt that way more than expected.
S
Holy BALLS that’s mean lol
A
When I was 11 and being rude to a girl at school, she roasted me with an insult “please cross me off your short list of friends”. My bullying days were very short lived because I remember that 30 years later.
P
Brutal lol
B
Legit gasped with my hand to my face at that!! 🫢
N
Now imagine if that someone was a 10 year old 🤣. I think I would be broken for life
D
Yo Philly…. You must’ve been born on a highway, cause that’s where most accidents happen. 🤣🫵🏻
B
BOOM. ROASTED.
T
Literally loled reading that one. Im almost 40, I would have been aghast lol
J
Works really well as a question. Were you born on a highway? If the answer is no: “huh, I assumed because it’s where most accidents happen.” If yes (someone trying to short-circuits your burn): “makes sense, it’s where most accidents happen.” Non-engagement allows you to drop the punchline still too.
A
Lmaoo I’m gonna tell her this!
C
Brutal because my niece was just born on the highway (in a car) because they couldn’t get to the hospital in time.
C
Makes sense. That’s where most accidents happen.
K
Mine too, the second is the “I havee seen salad dressed better than you”
C
Absolutely, I can genuinely never heard that before.
K
That one stuck out to me as well. That is devastating.
F
That’s so great!
R
“The trash get picked up tomorrow be ready” is fucking fiiiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeee
D
I just tried this on my 9 year old. His reply – “Okay, I’ll put you out in the morning.” Damn kids.
J
Nine year olds are born wiseguys, what did you expect?
U
Hahaha I just tried on my 9yr old daughter. “Damn, they missed you last week”
Q
GOTTEM
S
i got one of those too. i’ll try it tomorrow morning. 🙂
D
I guess I will see you on the curb 😂
M
It gave me a legit chuckle. Top tier and it’s being added to my memory bank for future usage.
A
Lmaoooo
O
The salad dressing one…I’m using that on my brother next available opportunity 🤣
J
That’s the best one!
D
I dunno, that salad one cracks me up
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