Caught you
in WTF
Caught you off guard!

B
Anyone whose ever been around snappers knew that would happen, lol.
Z
We don’t even have them were I live, and I knew that would happen 😊
T
I didn’t. Don’t even know turtles had necks, let alone were part giraffe.
M
It’s a grower, not a shower.
J
Well, he didn’t lose a finger so I actually was surprised
C
Ikr. Seeing how this is r/wtf I was waiting for it to take his finger off clean.
U
It’s been years since that kind of content has been on WTF.
B
Turtle not big enough for that yet… That’s just a baby. Those things get 200lbs plus
S
Nah, this is a common snapping turtle, those usually top out at around 50 pounds. The ones that get 200+ pounds are alligator snapping turtles, but they have short necks and can’t snap at you like this.
S
I remember following the center of the shell and grabbing behind the head and by the shell near the tail and being able to hold them maybe it was alligator snapping turtles and not the common ones
S
Yeah, that’s the alligator snapping turtles that you hold like that. Handling that way works for them because they have the shorter necks and won’t whip their heads around to try to bite you. You don’t want to hold a common snapping turtle that way. I mean, technically you *can*, but it’s a really bad idea. Don’t do it.
P
Yep. There’s a guy on youtube that talks about the different way you should not but could handle an alligator snapper that way but not the common ones.
A
Thank fuck!
H
Yep. Can grab gator snappers on the back half of the shell and above the head, commons you gotta grab the back third.. We occasionally have to get them out of the road.
P
Right? r/spacedicks comes to mind also
S
Snappers aren’t really the ones that take a finger off. Crazy people fish for these with their hands. [It’s alligator snappers that will delimb you.](https://www.frvta.org/wp-content/uploads/Alligator-snapping-turtle-3.jpg)
S
Tbh I’ve handled them before at this size (they get stuck on the road where I live and I like to expedite their journeys) and I totally would’ve thought I was safe doing something like that. That’s a flexible-ass snapping turtle. Or maybe I’m just lucky. Or maybe a different species?
B
We had a one about twice that size just saunter into our loading dock area years ago. A coworker grabbed his tail and held him well away from his body and it was trying to bite him and damn near succeeded. Its neck extends really far.
S
Careful grabbing them by the tail, you can break their backs like that. There are proper ways to hold them to get them out of a road or something, but a hockey stick and a snow shovel work best imo due to their eldritch necks.
H
gotta have that clearin’ stick on standby
W
Trevor, smokes, let’s go
B
My late FIL had a broomstick that they would grab on to, I dont think how he grabbed it mattered, they were going to eat it anyways.
B
I think what your friend had on his hands was the uncircumcised snapper where the video above is a circumcised snapper which has less reach but can still perform
F
In our hood we have two types of turtles. If I see a pond turtle (whatever they’re called) trying to cross the road, I’ll stop to help it across. If I see a snapping turtle…those little buggers are on their own. Good luck with traffic buddy.
C
Maybe start carrying around a big stick?
A
Speak softly though, they don’t like raised voices.
B
Surpsingly, that works pretty well as they bite the stick and hang on, allowing you to carry them away from you.
S
It’s sweet but the snappys know where they’re going. If you see them please stop and don’t run them over.
H
The only thing I’m shocked about is the fact it let him go so quickly
B
They are definitely surly bastards, lol. Gotta treat them with respect.
D
Seriously. You don’t want the business of any digit anywhere near that body.
R
We have a huge one living in the small lake by my house. Apparently they are quite safe if you leave them alone but I am terrified of swimming if I know she’s around
B
Honestly, he’s just lucky it let go. It could have held on and really ruined his day. When I was a kid, I was told to avoid alligator snapping turtles because they’ll bite you and they won’t let go until lightning strikes (or you pry their jaws open with tools).
E
Either that or the bitten flesh lets go of you first
C
I don’t even think this is an alligator snapping turtle, they don’t have especially long necks like this one does, the common snapping turtle on the other hand does have a neck like this.
S
One confirmed way to get a snapping turtle to let go is to pick it up and move it into water. While bites can occur in water, the “hold on and don’t let go” kind of bites are typically more likely to occur on land. The turtles are more vulnerable on land, and sometimes a defensive bite will result in them trying to absolutely fuck your shit all up. Like, they’re not trying to warn you, they’re not trying to scare you away. They’re really scared and if they let go of you then you might do a counter-attack. So they don’t let go until the threat is neutralized. If this happens, putting them in water usually works. Once they’re in water they feel like they have a means of escape. Since they think they can now escape, they no longer have to kill you, and the safer option is to just let go. To be clear, this option is very likely to work, but can be painful. Moving your body while the turtle is holding on will likely cause it to repeatedly start biting down harder. Meanwhile one hand is likely going to be temporarily unable to be used (since it’s stuck in the turtle’s mouth). You also might not be anywhere near water that you can dunk the turtle into. But this is a confirmed method that works. Another confirmed method that works is pouring liquor into the turtle’s mouth. Though I don’t like to recommend this method except in absolute emergency situations (like the turtle got hold of a toddler or something like that). In *most* bite scenarios it’s not a medical emergency and it’s the person’s own damn fault they got bitten, so there’s no need to harm the turtle by pouring poison in its mouth. Just suck it up and wait for the turtle to let go. But in a real emergency, this has also been confirmed to work. Though it has the same limitations as the water method: if you’re getting bitten by a snapping turtle at all, you might not be somewhere where you have easy access to liquor. So, what to do if you get bitten by a snapping turtle and you’re nowhere near water or liquor? I don’t know, but I have an unconfirmed hypothesis: just go limp and pretend you’re dead. So, I’ve actually been bitten by snapping turtles a few times, and I’ve noticed that when they clamp down like that, moving at all just makes them try to bite down harder. So I wondered, what if I just go limp? After all, following the logic that these are defensive bites in response to an active threat, there’s obviously no need to keep holding on if the attacker is *dead*, right? So just…go limp and don’t react. Turtle starts tugging on you? Stay limp, don’t react. Turtle bites down harder? Stay limp, don’t react. This happened to me twice,and the turtle actually let go of me pretty quickly. Keep in mind, this is purely anecdotal. I haven’t seen anyone else ever recommend this method of getting a turtle to let go. And it’s only worked for me twice, and two times is not a very good sample size. Still, anecdotally, it worked for me 100% of the two times I tried it. So if you ever have a snapping turtle latch onto you and you’re out where there is no water or booze, maybe give it a shot and let me know if it works! Hell, in that situation you’d might as well try it, not like you’ve got a whole lot of other options.
J
You can chop off the head of a snapping turtle and it will continue to bite you.
A
Once the head is chooped off you may find it very easy to tear through any muscles that’s holding the jaw down.
B
Boil the head.
R
Snapping Turtles are fast as lightning.
E
In fact, it’s a little bit frightening.
L
But they fought with expert timing.
B
No, no. You guys are thinking of cats. Kung Fu fighting cats.
B
Nah man, it clearly says EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting
B
But it was only those cats who were fast as lightning.
F
And turtles, as we all know, use ninjutsu.
M
It’s not only cats.
E
Pandas are actually just large cats. Look at the laziness.
M
Galileo, Figaro
A
But you can jump onto their shell and turn them into mush – with expert timing.
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