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Title: After years of wearing this in public, decided to finally try and translate what my hoodie says
For years, I prided myself on my mysterious black hoodie with an intricate design and some sort of exotic script on the back. People would often ask what it meant, and I’d smirk and say, “It’s a secret.” After countless curious glances and conversations, I finally decided to use an online translator to decode the script.
Turns out my enigmatic hoodie, which I wore to look super cool and worldly, proudly proclaimed, “I love broccoli” in Mandarin. I spent years strutting around with a vegetable endorsement on my back, thinking I was giving off James Bond vibes when, in reality, I was just the poster child for healthy eating!
B
Continue wearing it
T
should also provide a link so i can get one
T
My mom used to volunteer at a thrift store and got it for me like ~10 years ago. It’s under armour (hence why I never bothered translating cos I never thought they’d have a hoodie with this on it lol) but after nothing came up on Google I think whoever owned it before me got it customized with really high quality vinyl cos it’s never chipped or cracked in all these years.
B
You can get Under Armour products on print sites such as 4imprint so it’s likely someone’s joke item.
T
Nice!! Mystery solved.
B
Still awesome 😂
C
“joke item” Right!
B
There was a time when Under Armor was very popular to Chinese people, not sure if it is anymore. I gifted some under armor to a Chinese friend’s uncle one year because he was so obsessed with it haha
T
Ooo maybe the original owner got it to prank his Chinese homie or vice versa! The lore continues!!
B
“Here’s a new UA shirt, I hope you like it!” Haha
S
You should wear it
D
>…got it for me like ~10 years ago The Ligma outbreak didn’t reach the west ’til 2018, this is proof it started in China two years earlier.
C
Shit I would, anybody got a link?
C
Lick his balls? Get in line 😁
G
if you each focus on one ball, no line needed.
O
It’s only gay if the chins touch
D
middle out
C
You are out of line but you are right
T
Fully agreed, I need this link too
D
Better yet, tattoo it on your neck OP
C
While traveling
P
That’s really disturbing…where can I get one?
T
Have your mom volunteer at a thrift store and buy it for you cos she thinks it looks cool and unknowingly sets you up for embarrassment 😂 (It’s under armour, but I think it was originally a plain black hoodie and someone took it to get the Mandarin ironed on, cos the quality is too good for an at home iron-on job)
D
I really thought you were going to end “have your mom…” differently.
S
Break both your arms. Have your mom…
S
No no this is under armor’s new line of clothes to fuck with people The true meaning is hidden under a layer of ‘armor’ (mandarin)
T
Gonna need a “lick my balls” hoodie in every language!
L
Have you shared this translation with your poor unsuspecting mother?
T
I did! We had a giggle and now she’s telling me to not wear it out and donate it again. To yet another unsuspecting soul?! 😂
M
As a native Mandarin speaker I can confirm that this translation is accurate.
T
My neighbor is a Chinese Christian pastor and I thank my lucky stars I never wore this in front of him 😂
K
well now’s your chance
S
Assert neighborly dominance
B
Make eye contact
G
This is the way. Knowledge is power.
A
France is Bacon
M
*Maintain* eye contact
G
Make eye contract.
T
I’m too cowardly, I am not worthy of this hoodie 😔 (and I don’t wanna lose access to the yummy Chinese treats he brings back when he goes to visit)
N
Oh that’s a really tough one… yummy treats versus a conversation leading to him live translating
K
Ballsert, not assert.
C
*Unlocked hidden relationship quest tree with neighbor*
D
Mmm not quite. This is Google translate level of Chinese prior to AI.., 球 Literally means ball, as in a ball that is just a plain ball… the actual slang for testicles in Mandarin is 蛋蛋 (literal translation being “egg egg”) If a Chinese person heard/read that, the listener would literally think “lick the ball”. What kind of ball? Basketball, tennis ball? Glass ball (marbles)? Pool ball? Yoga ball? Doesn’t matter. Anything that is spherical, and most critically, NOT testicles.
P
the slang is ‘egg’ in many other languages too is it not
J
Chinese people are cool
S
So OP is all safe😀
J
I’m guessing your Chinese Christian pastor would get a good laugh out of seeing this knowing you had no idea what it meant.
A
Not sure what would be worse him seeing it or following directions with no context 😂
S
Definitely him seeing it
T
That depends on his ball licking skills
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