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A cuttlefish is imitating a human face.
N
“Hey. Hey, human! Look look! This is you. ‘Oh dur dur! I’m a human! I can only mimic celebrities and politicians! Der der der!’ LoL, fucking idiot.”
R
It was being a real mocktopus
_
This thread is a real damp squid
R
Oh get off your pedal stool
S
We are going to continue kraken puns and jokes in this post.
N
Wet is water
U
the waterboarding will continue until the punch lines hit
J
Insufferablepods.
T
“I give my fish away like a total moron. Der der der!!”
T
“I’ll use my credit card.” Hahaha prick!
T
Do you have any non dairy creamer?
P
Yeah cuttlefish, do a QR code!
N
You realize if they saw it every day for a bit, they technically could? We think we’re so smart – computers, cars, the internet… They can THINK themselves a different color or pattern in less than 30 seconds and they don’t pollute their environment like a rampant virus like us! I F#CKING L-O-V-E cuttlefish fish 😍🤩😍
P
Plus, they mate by grabbing each other’s faces after the male creates a laser lightshow on his skin.
N
So HAWT! 🤓🐙🦑😍🤩 Show me a man that can do that, under water, EYew!
P
Right??
B
I would be happy with a terrestrial laser light show in my face, what you’re asking for sounds kind of like a logistical nightmare to me 🙂
O
[Hey Bobby look look!](https://youtube.com/shorts/Yu0tN0Jc2ZE?si=Ay_1P-OIz92_WGk1)
A
I laughed out loud
D
I snorted water into my nose at “fucking idiot”
V
In this timeline he can be president.
W
Read this in “I’m a waterboy” voice
B
That was extremely disturbing. It went from an attempt to look human to having a grabby octopus mouth.
O
What’s wrong with having a grabby octopus mouth? Not cool, bro.
S
Sees username, Oh my.
D
Found The Deep from The Boys alt account
C
Oh shi..
W
My exact reaction
C
r/okbuddybaldur enters the chat
V
Bro said yes to the emperor
E
Your username belongs on r/brandnewsentence.
P
Maybe Lovecraft saw a cuttlefish do this when he came up with the idea for Cthulhu.
C
Cephalopods weren’t well loved in the era. This quote from the time period sometimes gets passed around: > Its folds strangle. Its contact paralyzes. It is disease embodied in monstrosity. It is not to be torn away. It adheres closely to its prey. The octopus on the chase hides. It looks like a ripple of the waves. It resembles everything except something living. The octopus is a hypocrite. When one pays no heed to it suddenly it opens—a glutinous mass possessed of a will. What more frightful! Glue filled with hatred! (Sermon by Charles L Thompson, 1903, some lines omitted. Admittedly, using octopuses as a metaphor for Mormonism.) Edit: The sermon is paraphrasing Victor Hugo’s Toilers of the Sea (1866), sorry for the mistake! As part of my apology, have another paragraph from that book: > To believe in the octopus, one must have seen it. Compared with it, the hydras of old are laughable. Orpheus, Homer, and Hesiod were only able to make the Chimaera; God made the octopus. When God wills it, he excels in the execrable. And all ideals being admitted, if terror be the object, the octopus is a masterpiece. [The chapter on the web](https://www.bartleby.com/lit-hub/the-combat-with-the-octopus/)
N
Lovecraft definitely had an cephalopod fixation… 😁😆🤣 in the butt!
O
😉
R
He apparently hated seafood almost as much as he hated non-whites.
A
Non-whites? He thought *SCANDINAVIANS* were brave because they were stupid. He thought the Fr*nch were cowards. He considered Russians lower than anyone Asian or African. He wasn’t ‘racist’. He had clinical Xenophobia… probably the most blatant example. (Also: anxiety, depression and more than a little self-loathing).
B
I don’t think racism and xenophobia are exclusive. That is an extremely overlapping Venn diagram.
M
I would say xenophobic is more precise in this case.
B
Google HP Lovecrafts views on Jewish people, Adolf Hitler, African people (or people of African descent) and tell me again if you think that racist AND xenophobic would be the wrong way to classify him.
M
Bro married a Jewish woman and most of his besties were Jewish. He’s actually xenophobic. The “I’m not homophobic. I hate them I’m not scared of them” meme? Him but the opposite. Bro was scared of everything due to a super traumatic upbringing. And in the end of his life seemed to be much better on the fear of other races. But he still died because he was horrified of doctors.
J
Cthulu fish would be a better name
R
Cuttleulu
N
Seriously!
D
Nobody ever likes Zoidberg 😭
N
For 3 – 5 mins… then “ohhh”, “ewww”
C
I love how its more specifically “human face from below” with extra emphasis on the nostrils
Z
Makes sense. That’s the angle it will have seen most human faces from.
V
I wonder what my cats think I look like
P
A wall with a pair of nostrils at the top.
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