Typical funeral service in Ohio
in WTF
Most ordinary funeral in Ohio turns out to be rather unexpected.

J
Across town, there’s a priest delivering a eulogy at a rave.
P
Snapping glowsticks instead of lighting candles
A
“Now, if everyone would snap your glowsticks and raise them in the air for a moment of silence… if your glowstick isn’t working, raise it anyway”
I
That last part tells me you have actually been to a church a time or two in your life.
A
Nope! Start Wars at Disney when everyone raises their lightsaber for Lord Vader! All hail the Sith!
I
Sounds like a church to me. Whole religion and everything. but seriously, that’s great.
A
Touché lol
M
Can’t spell grave without rave!
P
And you can have a Funeral without the word FUN
C
father, why are there mitsubishi logos on the communion wafer?
M
“Mitsubishi makes this?…..no wonder they sell a lot of cars.”
O
administering Last Rites for my sobriety
I
REST IN FUCKING PEACE, DORIS!!!
T
Doris was an integral part of the techno community in Ohio.
P
RIP Doris – avid bingo player, gardening enthusiast, two-time Tomorrowland headliner.
G
Doris’ will: “Please, Aldo, I would like a quiet, respectful and peaceful ceremony with classical music. Whatever you do, do NOT play that awful “music” you listen to and perform for your idiot friends.”
C
“And whatever you do, please don’t take your clothes off.”
L
“Please don’t let Burt Kreisher DJ.”
B
Surprised he got through this set without laughing the whole time
J
Weird. Grandma Doris didn’t leave a will! That’s so unlike her…. Oh well, everybody knows how proud she was of my music career. It would be my honor to send her home the way she deserves!
W
One of the typical stages of grief – Turnt
T
I bet Doris was turnting in her casket
T
Turnt-able
S
All this time I never knew there were unturnt ables
S
That’s likely a DJ controller, it has jogwheels instead of turntables. So a lot less turnt going on, just a little bit of nudging.
S
I wish I was smart enough to understand what you just said
P
Picture a clock, now picture instead of “turning” the turntable, you just shift it from 8 through 4o’clock to get various sounds/distortion/pitch/whatever, with 6 being neutral. thats a jogwheel.
S
That made sense, thanks
I
And a microphone.
T
“Are you going to the funeral?” “Dunno. What’s the lineup?”
C
“I heard fucking DJ Aldo is gonna be there!”
E
Wait. Is he going to be naked?
I
When isn’t he?
F
I just pictured this as an exciting exchange between fans and can’t stop laughing..
N
All right then. I’m in.
N
I just went to Aldi last week and I didn’t see that guy there. Go figure.
B
This is the funniest reply out of them all. 💀
H
Two of them, “I’m out of here.” Lol
R
They had to go to the bathroom to snort a line. They’ll be right back.
D
And they’ll be a lot more fun
N
They will start singing with the dj.
I
They just got up to make their way on stage for the dance number
O
They will start repeating DJ ALDO over and over again.
C
How’d that song go again?
S
Lmao
U
Come get me for the headliner
C
Likely being overcome with emotion — a feeling a loss with a little bit of melancholy nostalgia.
F
DJ Aldo dropping another banger
D
Imagine blowing O’s to this song though
M
My favorite vid of his of all time
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