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The other night, while I was trying to make dinner and my son was deep in his latest gaming adventure, he suddenly burst out with, “What if iPads charged to 200%?” I paused mid-chop, knife hovering above the vegetables, and turned to him, half-expecting a profound insight. Instead, he launched into a wild scenario where everyone would start zapping their iPads to one-up each other, leading to a tech-induced contest of hypercharged devices that could power a small city. I couldn’t help but imagine our family turning into a bunch of hyperactive squirrels, buzzing around adjusted iPads, their screens glowing brighter than a disco ball.
I mean, who hasn’t had the great charging race on a road trip, but my son had taken it to a whole new level of absurdity! The image of parents inadvertently setting their devices to ‘supercharge’ mode and suddenly discovering they could control the lights in their houses or summon pizza with a flick of the wrist was just too much. It’s moments like these that remind us kids can wrap the most mundane thoughts in electrifying silliness, turning a simple question about battery life into a full-blown comedy sketch!
in Funny
My son asked, “What if iPads could charge to 200%?”
I
Let’s get real serious and dial ’em up to 11
M
RIP Rob Reiner
C
If you pay me an extra 20%, I’ll make the dial go up to 12.
I
Whoosh
M
“7. minute. abs.”
F
But what if someone made 6 minute abs?
G
….nnn..NO!
C
Uh, no? I’ve watched Spinal Tap.
I
Oh, I see. So it’s not a whoosh. It’s just a complete lack of comedic timing and original thought. I don’t know the term for that but it’s definitely whoosh adjacent
M
https://xkcd.com/670/
H
No, let the boy Tim Cook.
M
Le’Tim cook
S
Not for too long or it’s Tim-timawh à la South Park
F
Ha! Gayyyyyyy
P
Honestly it would be kick-ass if batteries had no max capacity – its power is relative to how long you let it charge.
T
Then the resulting explosion would level the building it was in 😀
C
Oh there will be a video. “So I charged this battery for 25 years. Let’s see what happens if I stab it with this toenail clipp–.” LA COUNTY REDUCED TO RUBBLE. 10 MILLION MISSING, PRESUMED DEAD “We’ve been searching for survivors for two weeks but all we found was this burnt sock.”
O
“23-19!”
T
Infinite power, you say?
L
UNLIMITED POWAAAAA
D
Nuclear power phones?!?!
O
Absolute power corrupt absolutely
U
Would that be related to having amps that go to 11?
G
Which really never made sense, because you could just have it go to 10, and make 10 as loud as 11 is.
F
But these go to 11
D
Well why don’t you just make 10 louder so you don’t need to go to 11?
S
These go to 11
–
It’s one louder isn’t it
N
Trump math
P
Don’t give ideas to apple. That’s going to be their main selling feature in their next keynote. Our greatest innovation after the Dynamic Island….Dynamic Boost.
T
I mean it just depends on you specs.
D
Right! I can hit 396% of CPU utilization so why not 200% battery percentage?
A
“Under my presidency, I got batteries to charge to 200, 300, even 1,000 percent. People said it couldn’t be done. Sleepy Joe couldn’t do it. I did it. Batteries… Big, beautiful batteries. And the small ones, too. Itty bitty. American. Not Chi-na. Batteries. Phones. Computers. Barron. So smart with the computers. How does he do that? Off… on. I don’t know. Did I tell you about the sharks and the boats and the batteries?”
R
I mean, all it would take is a simple programing tweak to make it display that, change nothing else, and sucker a ton of people into purchasing that thinking they got a deal
X
This one you just have to let the kid slowly figure out why they’re a dumbass. Can’t just throw it in their face lol
L
Maybe give them a (small) cup and tell them to fill it with water to 200%.
C
Nah, Le Tim Cook
I
To expand on this what if your iPhone created a metric that showed how much over your average needed capacity for the day you are. So while I get the phone I’m at like 135%. Three years later I charge to 95%
L
The batteries would just die at twice the rate.
B
why not make 100% the loudest?
G
🍑💨
C
I sense a Cease & Desist in Apple letterhead in your son’s future!
P
WELL??? What if they did though???
C
How old is he?
D
Given that the recommendation is to keep batteries between 20-80% to extend their life, it would make some sense. Remap 20% to 0% and let them discharge to -33% in an emergency, and let you charge them to 133% if you anticipate an emergency, which would be 100% currently.
A
Nominal full charge voltage for lithium-ion/lithium polymer batteries is 4.2V per cell, but you can charge them higher than that, up to somewhere in the neighborhood of 4.4-4.5V, or even higher in some cases. I say “somewhere in the neighborhood” because this quickly destroys the battery’s longevity, if they even survive the first overcharging cycle without bursting into flames. Not to mention that the marginal gain in capacity is very small compared to the risk incurred.
J
So that’s like a 1000% reduction right?
B
Technically, when you attach an ext magnetic battery pack, it would be cool if phones added the extra detected capacity to the total charge level.
M
What did Tim Apple say?
T
The 1st gen iPad had a 6600 mAh battery. The 10th gen iPad has 7606 mAh battery. So arguably it has been improved to 115% battery life I genuinely thought this would be a bigger difference before I looked it up, its been over a decade people…
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