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I ordered this food thermometer, excited to finally cook my chicken without the fear of serving my family dry, rubbery meat. My first attempt went surprisingly well—the chicken reached the perfect temperature, and I was feeling like a culinary genius. But just as I was about to impress everyone with my newfound skills, the thermometer mysteriously “wandered” into the salad bowl, plunging into the Caesar dressing as if it had a taste for gourmet cuisine.
As I tried to salvage the situation, my brother-in-law asked if I could come up with a new dressing recipe called “Thermometer Surprise.” We all burst into laughter as we imagined the food critics raving about it: “The tangy zest and slightly metallic undertones make for a truly unforgettable delicacy!” My food thermometer may not have made my cooking legendary, but it definitely served up a side of laughter that left an unforgettable taste in our mouths!
H
I worked for a online vitamin supply… I’ll never forget the woman who returned “Vaginal Health Probiotics” (written just as the label did) with the message: These tablets do not dissolve, therefore this product doesn’t work. She was not taking them orally as directed….
H
When you realize the oral vaginal probiotic works by getting from the anus to the vagina.
H
She would have have had way more success if she was a liiiiitle bit more of a freak.
I
Does it say “wipe back to front” in the instruction manual?
G
Is that how it works? Now I know why she got pregnant
N
Her next post: “How is prangent formed?”
W
Preegaaaat
K
Pragnananent
T
Could I be pregenanté?
M
dangerops prangent sex?
A
Si! Pregante!
C
Wait actually? That… sorta makes sense.
4
Maybe there’s some secret third hole
G
I don’t understand your joke at all. I am tempted to blame myself and not you because you have 724 upvotes, but I just can’t figure it out. Is it just that you are like “hurr durr butthole!” and everyone likes that? Or what am I missing? I don’t understand why you brought up the anus at all when it’s already funny that she put an oral pill in her vagina. AND on top of that, I do not understand why you said “when you realize…” as if the following words are true? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.
J
But are you taking the crazy pills orally or rectally?
B
What part of the digestive tract do you believe the vagina is connected to?
D
Is this line of thinking really an argument for an anal-to-vaginal bacteria transmission that for a hygienic individual shouldn’t happen, or an argument that oral vaginal probiotics are a scam?
W
Am a gynecologist. The person is technically correct. There isn’t a connection from the mouth to the vagina. There is however from the mouth to the anus, which of course lives on the same block.
D
From what the internet has taught me over the years, the anal area is rife with blood vessels so transfer of probiotic bacteria could probably travel from the anus to the vagina through blood vessels passing through the perineum..? Seems a bit over engineered but maybe that’s the best solution they’ve found when faced with the issue people not being particularly eager to stick suppositories up their bottom holes.
X
if you got bacteria moving between your body parts through your blood you’re not in good shape
J
No better way to speed up the process than going straight to the source
N
Analgesic from Scrubs moment
Q
The pills go in your mouth sir
G
The inhaler from ‘House’ moment.
W
I was looking for this, I was not disappointed.
R
“My ear hurts.” “Go inside and take your pants off.”
K
I’ll give that woman at least a *little* more grace since vaginal health suppositories do exist and they look very similar to probiotics. Boric acid, for example. I can see how she could get those confused. It’s a whole lot harder to mix up digital and oven safe thermometers.
N
There’s also vaginal probiotic suppositories–which makes 1000% more sense to me than oral vaginal probiotics. And they are made to dissolve
P
I’m beginning to see why the pills for yeast infection come with a picture of a woman popping them in her mouth.
R
Well I had the ‚other‘ experience with patients, including suppositories. They did not go down well, was the complaint, or these are so big.
I
If I was part of brand management I would tell them to rename it to vaginal health oral probiotics and hope that clarifies things
F
my mother is a doctor and has a story that’s the opposite of this she prescribed a medication to an elderly patient andater she came back and complained the pills were too large to swallow comfortably they were supposed to be inserted and she was gulping them down with water
S
There’s a scene in Scrubs that skips to the punchline with the doctor saying “This word is pronounced An Al Jeesic, the pills go in your mouth”
S
You should have worded it “mouth” and not “insert in your lips”.
S
TBF, butthole to vagina shouldn’t connect
G
You’re the second commenter bringing the butthole into this and I’m so confused. This makes me think you guys don’t realize that the lady would have put the pill into her vagina and not her mouth. Nobody said anything about the butt.
C
Sometimes it’s hard to not think about butt stuff. Just like in general.
R
Our biological core is a tube from mouth to butthole. Everything else, every limb, every organ, everything ever created by the human mind is an accessory for improving our ability to shovel food in our gullets and poop out waste. The human experience is the ultimate scope creep from the baseline mission of consume and excrete. So yeah, you can expect everything else to be affected by the gastric tubes in some frickin’ way. It’s depressing or inspiring, depending on how you look at it.
S
Our entire body “connects,” for better or worse. The only part that’s more difficult to access is the brain bit, thanks to the blood-brain barrier.
W
Wait till you find out about the eye’s immune privilege
B
Think about the dumbest person you know, then know that there are millions of people dumber than them.
R
Yep and Reddit shows me tons of them every day.
B
Read TikTok comments if you think Reddit is bad.
S
also – don’t
Z
>“There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.” A Park Ranger when asked why it is so hard to make trash cans Bear proof.
Y
Where I lived in New Zealand you regularly get sea lions resting on the beach. These are pretty big 400kg animals with big teeth. More than once did I see tourists walk right up to them to pet them as if they’re a pet dog. Sometimes with toddlers. I don’t like being cynical, but fuck me I don’t know how some people survive.
_
Society has helped them survive. That’s sort of the point in general of human socialization. We band together and use collective and hierarchy to keep the group alive where individuals would have never made it.
C
Pinnipeds (sea lions, seals, walruses etc.) are all carnivores. They’re close cousins to bears and wolves, and interacting with one in the wild is just as smart as interacting with those.
A
Just seen a video earlier of a lady in China that went closer than 10 feet of a snow leopard for a selfie with it and it basically ate her face
K
A couple years ago, my wife and I took a motorcycle trip to Denver, CO, and up through Custer state park in South Dakota. While we were riding through the state park, there was a herd of bison chilling near the road and occasionally crossing. These animals range from 1000-2000 lbs for the males and 800-1200 lbs for the females, it was a mixed group, including calves. People were dumb and literally getting out of their cars to get close to take pics, saw a few even trying to get close enough to touch! Wife and I just said fuck this, and left before the stampede could start because some idiot tried to get close to a baby. Numbers get posted every year of people getting gored by bison in some of our national parks. People are dumb as fuck sometimes.
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