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Last summer, I decided I needed a sexy waistline, so I turned to the internet for a “foolproof” home workout. I stumbled upon a trendy tutorial promising to chisel my midsection in just five minutes a day. Armed with enthusiasm and a suspicious amount of leftover pizza, I went for it. With my favorite motivational playlist blaring, I tried to follow every twist, crunch, and stretch… only to find myself tangled up in my workout mat like a human pretzel.
As I laid there, gasping for breath and reviewing my life choices, my dog waltzed over and sat on my head as if to remind me that chasing a glamorous waistline doesn’t mean abandoning my dignity—or the snacks on the coffee table. Turns out, the only thing I actually burned was my ego, all while my pooch enjoyed a front-row seat to the chaos. I’ve since decided that a sexy waistline can wait—at least until I teach my dog how to do sit-ups.
B
Shit, it’s that simple?
M
Always has been
T
👖🧑🚀🔫👩🚀
Z
Step 1 is to already be attractive and in pretty good shape.
A
Step 1: Be attractive. Step 2: Don’t be unattractive. Step 3: Profit!
M
I seem to have an abundance of step 2 but can’t obtain step 1 and 3.
T
You’re just not your type
S
Please don’t spread this, trainers need rent money..
D
Write that down write that down!
S
Yeah. Dropped my 32″ pants and picked up 40 and no one even notices my stomach
T
If the clothes fit, you look more fit than if the clothes don’t fit?
D
Biggah pance?
M
Fitting clothes look better on you? :O
F
I applaud her straightforward solution, but the new jeans are too big, not fitted.
E
Future proof.
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I
Buddy do me a favor and go touch some grass
T
My waist size is 34”, but size 36” fit so good I wear size 38”
H
And you don’t look fat at all
V
I went from a mens 32 down to a men’s 28 this year, I feel like I have my teenage body back.
S
4 sizes down in under 1 month? Hope you’re doing OK. That much weight gone that quick can’t be healthy, but if it’s intentional and somehow safe/ healthy congrats?
T
It’s 4 inches, and if you’ve gone from a shitty diet and retaining loads of water to a better diet, not being bloated all the time, etc then you absolutely can do that perfectly safely in a month. All depends on context.
V
lots of fasting an no drinking soda or booze.
O
yah dude, the booze gets ya like people don’t realize! quit drinking and all that swelling and water retention diminishes and boom, 20 lbs lighter in like a month.
I
That’s like 10 lbs a week, though. There’s no way that much weight loss is healthy.
P
10 pounds is sensible in the first month if it’s all water weight. After that it shouldn’t be possible.
I
Unless you’re fat. The upper range for what’s a safe and sustainable rate of weight loss is around 1% body weight/week. If you’re 250lbs after the loss of water weight, 10lbs of real weight loss per month should be less than 1% for at least the first couple of months. But nobody who fits into 32″ pants is gonna weigh north of the 430 lbs you’d need to be to safely lose 30lbs in 3 weeks.
M
No soda or sugar FTW 🙌
T
my issue is my ass is so flat that I need it tight in the waist so it’s not falling down
W
Are you me? Why are we still up??
P
[I have a solution](https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=belt)
K
What is this voodoo magic?
T
And the belt needs to be tight because I have no ass. It doesn’t fix the root issue here! lol
D
You could wear suspenders instead!
C
Next they will tell us they don’t have shoulders lol. Which is technically possible, but I do not want to imagine the level of damage that would imply. Seriously though: I love suspenders. They are just the best thing for keeping your ass inside your pants.
S
I have diagnosed you with noassatall disease. My father is also afflicted.
S
My family has this too. My brother is 6’5″ and weight 290lbs. He looks like a straightened out bullfrog. Suspenders are the only solution.
S
I believe this can be cured by weekly doses of squatinoin and deadliftaron, supplemented by some hipthrustix
S
I thought red beans and rice were the only cure according to Sir Mix a Lot
S
Ever heard of… Belts? Sure it might not suit every outfit but still, belts.
T
Yeah I wear them but they still have to be tight to prevent my shit from falling down
T
Hip thrusts will grow your ass and also tighten your core fixing the equation
A
I’ll never understand why so many women buy pants that are too small for them, making them look fat.
M
Some of it is just the body changing throughout the day/hormone cycle, and some of it is the jeans/pants stretching out, and some of it is the fit. So you can put something on in the morning that fits and by midday you’re having to hike it up. Pants that fit two days ago are suddenly tight today, or too loose. And sometimes you have to pick your battles. Pants that fit in the hips don’t fit at the waist, or fit while standing but not while sitting, or whatever.
B
I have a pair of jeans that fit me tight once I wash them, but get really loose as the day goes on. At he end of the day, I might as well put on a belt, but man do they look good!!
C
You look fabulous, Barry!
B
I’m sure you do too!! Have a fantastic night!!!
J
So true, I can change up to two sizes within a month (with my weight and diet not changing). Drives me crazy, I basically have some trousers that I can only wear one week every month.
S
And some of it is “But I’m a size “
T
Isn’t it there a problem where women’s sizes are really inconsistent even within the same brand?
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