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Last Saturday, my friend Jenna called me up, her voice dripping with the kind of urgency usually reserved for Olympic medalists. “You won’t believe the drama with my neighbor,” she huffed, clearly perplexed by the fact that her neighbor had borrowed her lawnmower just a smidgen too often. Apparently, they’d gotten into a heated discussion about the proper angle for trimming hedges—life or death stuff, clearly. Jenna was pacing the living room, giving me live commentary as if she were reporting from a war zone, clutching her coffee like a microphone.
It occurred to me that in today’s world, some people thrive on a constant supply of melodrama, while others just want to figure out if they can afford avocados this week. Jenna’s neighbor couldn’t buy a nice lawnmower or hire a landscaper, but by God, they could turn lawn maintenance into a soap opera fit for prime time! The absurdity of that heated hedge discussion had me laughing so hard, I almost spilled my coffee—drama may be a luxury, but here we were, squandering it over shrubbery!
in Funny
Drama is a privilege.
T
Scream into a pillow.
O
but what if I scream
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[deleted]
O
🥱
2
sick response bro. hope middle schools treating you well
G
Why would I break my own shit anyway?
S
In case it won’t go down the toilet.
A
That is what the poop knife is for.
C
Poop knife is life
G
Poop knife 4 lyfe
I
I took a life with a poop knife once, but that was a long time ago.
M
Must be a huge crap if need to break it down
S
easier to get out?…
A
I’ve met plenty of people who would break their own shit..even if poor. Stay away from these people.
A
High stress situations can make some people react like that. Many poker players destroyed their shit after bad beats.
S
Anger management issues
O
Pillows. You can through pillows. Do not throw ottomans, because they may be fluff on top, they can still go through walls, that you have to repair.
W
Also punch pillow or mattress, not wall
Z
Or a whiteboard.. Looking at you, Kevin.
B
I may be a dumb stupid idiot but at least I am a dumb stupid idiot with a plate.
J
I may be broke, but my plates sure aren’t.
M
Beat your meat, not your stuffs.
M
Like Rocky. 🤜🥩
I
Where am I gonna find a meat factory who will give me access into their freezer room and lay the smackdown on their bovine products?
F
Even if you’re not broke, control, your drama. Destroying things is so easy making things is so hard and so is earning money. Don’t be dumb
J
Also, the more we let ourselves be angry the easier we are to anger in the future. The idea that bottling up your anger is worse than letting it out is a complete myth.
T
Go find your old Nokia phone and go crazy.
I
…been there!
P
One time i was so pissed i punched my car and made a dent… I still have to look at it every day..
M
But did the car \*learn\*?
A
*bruh*
L
As a kid I would go outside and punch our wooden fence because I knew If I broke anything I was gonna get my ass beat.
D
Break wind, not windows
F
You quickly learn this when you are fixing a hole in the drywall you made, followed by having to paint the whole room.
V
I throw pillows on the floor Often the stupidity of the action calms me down
M
Reminds me of getting into an argument in a tent… >That’s a bad place for an argument. ‘Cause then I tried to walk out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?
P
Nothing sounds worse than a pissed off zipper closure.
C
Fart real loud and then leave. If the situation warrants it (and you can easily evacuate the goodies): shart
A
why slam shit at all? it’s so fucking childish.
M
Because otherwise Mitch wouldn’t have had that joke to tell.
I
I’m reminded of that scene in GTA San Andreaa where the mob boss repeatedly shoots his brand new VCR because he can’t get it to work. Then after he gives you your mission he asks one of his minions to go buy a new one
R
As a kid, I would always act like I was throwing something hard and then go into a slow motion scene where I’m flipping it end over end in my hands at the wall and when I reached the wall I would pretend it explodes into a million pieces and act out all the shrapnel. Usually calmed me down.
S
Hit the gym, not your stuff.
J
this guy would LOVE rage rooms.
M
This is what TV bricks and foam rocks are for.
S
Leave paper plates outside in the snow so you can smash them.
J
RIP PS5 controller.. fucking FIFA
M
Gotta invest in a punching bag. I get it’s not a healthy way to deal with your anger but sometimes life just curbstomps you and you need to destroy something
A
I once got really mad at a video game and I threw the first thing I saw as hard as I could. Watching the silk scarf flutter slowly in the air was very sobering.
E
lets drunk bro much better!
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