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It turns out navigating life with an eye patch is a lot like my art career: a mix of creativity and chaos! After losing my left eye, I decided to embrace the situation by designing a series of eye patches that reflect my quirky sense of humor. One day, I walked into my favorite café wearing a patch adorned with a cartoon parrot that read, “Parts of me might be short, but my creativity is still soaring!” The barista burst into laughter, and I knew I was onto something.
The patch sparked a new little hobby for me, and I started whipping up designs like “The One-Eyed Panda” and “Pirate Chic”. My friends thought I’d dramatically become a gloomy recluse, but instead, I’ve become the life of the party, flaunting my silly creative side. If nothing else, my misfortune turned into a one-eyed fashion statement; now I can go full Captain Hook at the art gallery openings! Who knew losing an eye could lead to a patch collection that’s a real eye-catcher?
R
Sorry about your eye but you pull off the eye patch look nicely.
T
Yes but maybe she wants to leave it on
R
Haha
V
Arrrrrr righty thennnn…
C
OP was blessed with a beautiful smile and a good sense of humor. Best traits a person can have tbh.
S
Lost sight in my right eye 6 years ago due to a medical condition. Don’t worry, pirate jokes never grow old 👍
M
I hope you call everyone matey
S
Yaaar matey 😁
I
Eye, eye, Captain!
D
It’s just the one eye actually
B
What be a pirates favourite letter?
Z
Some would say “R”, but pirates have a love of the “C”.
H
Ahh, but without p, they’re just irate
T
A letter of marque from the king
M
Lost my lower left leg almost 5 years ago. Agreed.
R
Ahoy!
T
Arrrrrrre you sure about that?
D
Aye!! He be right.
C
How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A Buccaneer.🏴☠️
G
How is all of the hardtack and scurvy?
A
That’s how I cope with pain. I lost a finger in 2024, pinky specifically so now I tell everybody this is what happens if you break a pinky promise.
N
That’s awesome. There was this cool older guy who used to take my family boating when I was little. He was missing an index finger and would tell kids it was cause he picked his nose when he was a kid ☠️
M
Yikes. If that was true, I probably would be left with nothing but my two thumbs.
S
you can use your thumbs, too.
N
Ngl it made me question. Like I knew that wasn’t right but…
J
In 5th-6th grade I played little league and one of the players uncles was missing one of his index fingers. He helped coach only a few times but we all thought he was one of the really cool adults, younger than most the parents or just didn’t have kids 🤷 anyways after a game we all went and ate at a in-n-out and a group of us asked how he lost his finger. He looked around and made sure no one else was in earshot and said “ never stick your finger in a woman’s butt without her permission first” which caught all of us the fuck off guard. One of us asked something like “she she…got a knife and chopped it off?!” And he said “no she just squeezed, they can do that you know.” We did not know, but accepted it as truth and for a minute there thought girls could just cut off whatever she wanted with their assholes. First time seeing anal porn was like “wow I wonder if he knows the danger he’s in?!”
D
Trust me, you don’t want to know what they can do with the other hole.
F
*Vagina dentata* *What a wonderful phrase*
A
My brother lost the first knuckle and change on all his fingers on one of his hands going thru a windshield during a car wreck. His fingers are very gnarly and kids ask him questions all the time…he tells them this is what happens when you chew your nails too much 😅
L
This is a really excellent bit
E
How did you lose your pinky if you don’t mind me asking?
F
Please do a “Googly Eye.”
W
Making cool looking, artistic, custom eyepatches might be an interesting side gig!
T
You need a McPoyle eyepatch
S
Came here to say that.
M
Fake eye, that’s fun.
J
Is it offputting or does it look real?
S
As a fellow “pirate” you’ll quickly adapt to the missing depth perception (your 2D thinking due to being an illustrator will help immensely with that!) Oh and don’t waste money on 3D movies…
B
Wow ok you look magnificent and like maybe you have a heroic backstory
P
If I were to ever lose an eye I’m going luxury eye patch and black leather / tactical outfit to look like a villain.
F
Took a class some years ago with an older lady who had an amazing collection of hand sewn and embroidered eye patches. Total style legend.
A
You gotta do the villain’s glass eye from “Last Action Hero”!
C
When life says ‘keep an eye out’ and you say “bet.”
P
How about one that says “I’ll keep an eye out for you” Awfully sorry you have to deal with this though. I have a significant change/loss of hearing in one ear and it has been disruptive to say the least.
S
Don’t go chasing waterfalls.
G
I for one hope you find it Where’s the last place you looked?
A
Not to their left, clearly (right if the pick is mirrored)
G
At least I have company on my road to hell
G
You struggle to draw left eyes, I see
V
Op, I laughed out loud- I’m very sorry about your eyeball and I thank you for your marvelous sense of humor.
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