My girlfriend prepared this roast for dinner. What should I do next?

**What Happened:** I walked into the kitchen with a mixture of excitement and hunger, only to be greeted by the sight of a roast that looked like it had come straight out of a horror movie. My girlfriend, with a proud smile on her face, proclaimed it her “signature dish.” It looked like it had been marinated in regret—charred on the outside and mysteriously twitchy—like it was still debating if it wanted to be a roast or some kind of experimental art project. As she set it down on the table, the smoke alarm gave a half-hearted beep, as if to say, “You sure you want to eat that?”

**Why It’s Funny:** The situation is classic comedy gold: here I am, torn between being supportive and questioning my life choices. As she enthusiastically cuts into the roast, sending tiny flakes of burnt chaos flying across the table, I can’t help but wonder if this is what they mean by “a meat cook-off.” Should I risk my taste buds for love, or do I need to stage an emergency pizza rescue? The roast may have been a disaster, but at least I got to add “emergency cheeseburger” to my dinner plans in case dinner went south—fast!