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**What Happened:** Last Saturday, Jermaine was convinced that at any moment his girlfriend, Lisa, would magically transform into a different person. You see, she’d been sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone while Jermaine was pacing around, channeling his inner drama queen. Each time he opened the front door, it was like he was hoping for a dramatic entrance—maybe a superhero cape or some sort of motivational soundtrack playing in the background. But every time he peeked outside, it was just the neighbor’s cat staring back at him like he was the weird one.
**Why It’s Funny:** The absurdity of him believing that somehow Lisa would change her mind about joining him on his adventure made the whole scenario hysterically relatable. It’s like the universe had conspired to keep Lisa glued to the couch while Jermaine was over there, trying to make the front door a portal to change. It’s every couple’s silent struggle: one ready to conquer the world and the other blissfully enjoying Netflix while eating snacks. And there he was, opening that door like he was expecting a better version of his girlfriend to swoop in and save him from his own hopeless optimism!
M
His face! He thought it was funny the first time. The second time he’s like “Nah, I don’t need this shit.”
A
he walked out nonchalantly
I
he was about to say “DUDE lol someone is literally hopping out of their car next to us!” 😆 dude was in the last couple frames
S
Absolutely not. Do not joke about that shit who knows how people will react around you. On top of that, if someone suddenly gets the courage they normally wouldn’t have to address something like this and it turns out to be a joke do you think they’d be more or less likely to try to help if it happened again in a real situation?
J
It also desensitizes people to this sort of thing. They will think the next person who actually needs help is playing.
T
[WOLF! WOLF!](https://read.gov/aesop/043.html)
N
Yeah I ran after a guy I thought was stealing a girl’s purse because she screamed for help. Turns out they were dating
G
I always think this when I hear teenage girls screaming outside. They are just playing, but it’s always in my mind that one day, maybe they are not and nobody will pay attention.
A
Yeah, they need to control themselves
L
Just put yourself in that situation: If it were you actually yelling for help, would you expect people to come running and drop kicking your kidnapper? Because I would personally expect that. And joking about that brings about the idea of someone drop kicking your friend to “help” you. Which is not only not funny, it’s downright abuse. That’s all on top of the wolf thing. So just don’t do this type of shit.
S
I think free speech is allowed except for instances such as yelling fire in a crowded theatre. This is a good example of speech that is not allowed.
M
It’s inciting imminent lawless action by bystanders because dude hasnt done anything wrong.
T
Fun fact: That phrase was coined in response to protesters who were vocally against the draft.
S
Actually, it’s completely legal to yell fire in a crowded theater
S
haha you got me
S
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shouting_fire_in_a_crowded_theater
S
yes, you got me …if it’s actually on fire, or if you think it’s on fire.
S
Oh my hell
S
dude, you literally posted the link. Nothing else to discuss here.
S
> The utterance of “fire!” in and of itself is not generally illegal within the United States: “sometimes you could yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater without facing punishment. The theater may actually be on fire. Or you may reasonably believe that the theater is on fire.”[3] Furthermore, within the doctrine of First Amendment protected free speech within the United States, yelling “fire!” as speech is not itself the legally problematic event, but rather, “there are scenarios in which intentionally lying about a fire in a crowded theater and causing a stampede might lead to a disorderly conduct citation or similar charge.”[3]
O
JFC, if you go on much longer, we’re gonna be debating what the word “fire” means. Stop playing the “ACKTUALY” game and be a normal fucking person.
D
You know this quote counters you right? >”there are scenarios in which intentionally lying about a fire in a crowded theater and causing a stampede might lead to a disorderly conduct citation or similar charge.”
E
You just proved their point, my guy.
A
Premium redditor moment.
M
People dont care whether you bring proof, if you havent noticed. They just laugh and pretend its a game and no big deal that the entire basis of their take was 100% bullshit. But you know, they’re the right ones. /s
M
Lol 5 downvotes and zero retorts. Golden. Like watching children stomp their feet. \+1
C
Yeah my first instinct was to laugh because it’s quite funny but it’s also not very smart.
A
Yeah we have already a story about kid and wolves
B
I think it would have been great if HE proceeded to call the cops after the second time, telling them some psychotic woman was in his car, screaming. I mean… technically, he wouldn’t be lying. Especially if he demanded they remove her from the car because he didn’t want to go to jail for touching her inappropriately.
T
Sure let’s add false police report to the fuckups
B
As long as he avoided words like “strange”, it wouldn’t necessarily be a fake report. It would most likely be the end of whatever relationship he had with the woman. But.. considering that in today’s world, in the US, some third party could call the cops and end up getting that guy shot over this (without intending to)… I’m not sure he should be considering her actions as a joke. She would be kind of psychotic today to think that potentially getting her male friend arrested was a funny thing.
U
“There’s a woman screaming help in a car at the Esso station.”
P
The first one was funny because it sounded so stereotypically scripted and honestly like a toy said it that there wasn’t danger to it, but that second one was definitely WAY out of line
A
There’s also a good chance *someone* is getting arrested if the cops show up.
U
Exactly, people will think it’s just an influencer thing. Idiots.
Y
muscle memory is undefeated.
A
Calm down, and get off Reddit for a bit. “Edit” 😂😂😂
P
You must be fun at parties.
S
Lighten up. stress is bad for the heart
B
so’s lead
M
The people that always tell you lighten up would NEVER do this same thing, because they’re huge pussies hiding behind keyboards.
S
Nah generations lived from lead poisoning while doing stupid shit like this. Stress is definitely a far bigger killer.
B
I meant more like acute lead poisoning.
A
Yeah, the rapid onset variety.
M
Ah the ole Room Temperature Challenge!
S
I don’t know man. I feel like stress is worse than lead.
F
And because you feel like it, it must be true
S
Yeah man, feelings are somewhat symptomatic of societal abrasions that conform electric static. Feelings over facts 8/10 times.
C
He means lead rounds to the chest…. Goodness
L
realllyyy???
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