Last week, I was in a serious panic trying to finish a presentation for my boss. I sat at my desk, surrounded by sticky notes and half-empty coffee cups, drafting what I thought was a brilliant email summarizing the project. In my rush, I hit send without proofreading, and only moments later did I realize I had mistakenly written, “Attached is the important word emails,” instead of “important work emails.”
To make matters worse, autocorrect had transformed “word” into “bird,” so my boss received an email titled “Attached is the important bird emails.” Now, every time we discuss project updates, I can’t help but picture my boss meticulously reading through a flock of animated, chirping emails that were apparently flying around in my inbox. At least I provided some entertainment during our Monday meeting!
in Funny
Essential work emails

A
I would be mad if someone stole my chicken
P
Someone stole my yogurt and I was mad. I’d be beyond mad if someone stole my yogurt.
F
heh
M
Oh! now I know why the chicken crossed the road!
R
Raw frozen chicken, mistaken for lunch. Nice sarcasm on the writer’s side, like it.
D
If someone ate it for their lunch they will be easy to identify. They will be the person in the toilet exploding from both ends.
G
Who are they working with? Alligators and velociraptors?
D
One time at my office someone stole 5lbs of butter out of the fridge and we made a HUGE deal about it for months. We were all pretty sure about who did it but then that lady we accused got hit by a truck (she lived) so the boss said we had to drop it.
B
I mean… the boss has a bit of a karmic point on that one. But what was the deal with 5 lbs of butter outside of a restaurant / foodservice environment?
D
That’s fair. I had gone to Costco on my lunch break and picked it up for my coworker, who was keeping it there until she left in the afternoon!
D
20 pounds of beef and chicken in the fridge. Guy went by Sam’s on his way in
U
Was it a dairy truck?
O
This is amazing, thank you
D
I would not trust a chicken that went on a mystery adventure. “Oops I threw it in the trash, I’ll just dig it out and put it back in the fridge” “Oh, I thought that was a free chicken and put it in my trunk. I have a cooler, no ice but it’s probably fine. I’ll just take it back in the morning. It’s probably cold enough in the truck overnight
K
We at least need to know who is touching people’s chickens without permission.
A
If you’re where I’m currently living, that chicken in the truck would be frozen before morning.
D
If this is a food service job of some kind then yeah that’s not good. But if it’s anything else I have a lot more questions…
V
Be prepared to have a lot more questions.. high school front office
S
If they’ll steal a fucking raw chicken from the fridge, imagine what else they steal and what other unethical behavior they do at this school
T
Management has taught me that people will do all kinds of crazy stuff at work. Sometimes there’s a reason and sometimes it’s just because the spirit moved them. And my therapist wonders why I have trust issues.
D
Nah your therapist is gaslighting you. Trust me😏
T
You’re probably right. As a thank you, here’s all my passwords and PIN numbers.
S
100% steal stuff from work if you’re underpaid, overworked, and under-appreciated. Working in a *school*? Don’t steal from coworkers, steal from *work.*
F
I am paid well, well appreciated , work at hard as i want to. I still steal food from work so i have something to eat during wfh fridays and snacks for the weekend. I dont steal from my coworkers tho
L
Probably needed to make room in their freezer and brought it in to give to a coworker. Or they needed to defrost it for dinner that night and their fridge is already so full there’s not enough room.
R
Or using the school office as a delivery address for an online meat supplier? If you’re not going to be at home it could be better.
L
Yeah it’s gonna be something banal like that
O
“For the last time, I’m going to shut off the office lights and let whoever took the frozen raw chicken put it back by the break room sink”
L
If this is the typical mini fridge and a coworker put a whole ass chicken and then some into the fridge… i dont think it ended up in someones belly, it probably ended up in the bin.
U
At my work, someone stole a whole salmon. It was colored up, been refrozen, and had been disected by students. Definitely not for human consumption. No one fessed up, but we assume they got very sick.
D
So many questions…
C
This actually makes me pretty sad. It’s not okay to be taking people’s/schools/ whatever food. But I feel like no one is going to. E taking a whole frozen chicken from the school unless they really need it
M
Nah, a lot of people are pretty selfish and will take stuff just because they can.
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T
Salmonella, or worse. It’s raw chicken, not frozen.
Q
_Leeloo:_ ***sees and takes frozen chicken*** “Chicken. Good!” _~The Fifth Element (1997)_
R
You never know how many kleptomaniacs you could be working among
E
Lol one time someone stole TWO fully cooked turkeys from my job.
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