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I was at the grocery store, trying to keep a low profile while sneaking a few snacks into my cart. I thought I was being stealthy, but apparently, the woman in front of me took my casual glances at her cart as a sign of suspect behavior. As I reached for a bag of chips, she turned around and gave me a look that could freeze ice cream. It was as if I was plotting a heist instead of just looking to indulge in a little cheesy goodness!
The best part? I tried to reassure her with a smile that was supposed to say, “I promise Iβm not stealing anything,” but all that came out was an awkward grin that probably made me look even more guilty. Picture it: me, standing there red-faced, holding a family-sized bag of chips, while she eyed me like I was a criminal mastermind planning to rob the snack aisle. You know youβve reached peak paranoia when someone thinks chip cravings are suspicious activity!
in Funny
Avoid behaving suspiciously π
S
He looks like he only just survived
D
Then it was good!
S
Her dance in would confirm this.
C
Skip in her one two step.
L
When the pussy nearly sucks the life out of ya
S
Don’t think I’ve ever felt so jealous of a reddit post
T
If you want that kind of energy, you have to find a girl with a lot of testosterone. If she got a mustache then she got what it takes.
M
Is this my sign to stop shaving my mustache?
T
Ask your partner. Lots of dudes are intimidated by a good mustache. “Do you like my mustache” should be your go to pick up line to weed out the ones who don’t know.
E
Do you talk with your hands?
D
Bwahah awww
M
I like it when her balls are nice and hairy too.
C
You’ve all heard of the Succubus. Now get ready for… the **Succupuss.**
T
Iβm laughing but deep down insideβ¦ Iβm horny.
J
Not that deep
A
Sorry I wasnβt paying attention did someone say deep
S
Like he got the soul sucked out of him, but putting on a brave front.
B
Dad needs to sit down for a minute.
M
Because of the …. dancing… he just did
W
Ah yes, my favorite βThe Horizontal Bopβ
G
Bud light pls
S
I wouldn’t have pegged him as the type
C
She pegged him as that type, and then pegged him
S
Near-death by snu snu experience.
R
That is why she looked so happy.
S
Woman comes out buzzing, guy comes out shattered, bout right
V
Snu snu will do that.
C
π π¨ π π¨
Z
π π€¨”What are you? π?”
B
βAs the most attractive male he will be snu snued by the most beautiful women in all of Amazonia.β
N
THEN THE LARGE WOMEN
B
THEN THE PETITE WOMEN
J
THEN THE LARGE WOMEN AGAIN
V
May love like this find me. And may I survive.
T
Me out here like: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw)
D
I feel like they did coke and thats it lol
B
The state of his shirt, and his calm demeanor, definitely indicates something more than that happened lol.
D
I mean i look like that halfway thru a reception but yea he isnt as pumped as she is. lol
M
Because he pumped the whole fucking gas station into her. He’s out of fuel. He doesn’t even know his name. He was also probably asleep 30 minutes later.
K
XD You got a full-throated laugh out of me this evening!
G
Yup
Y
Lol my first thought was coke not sex π
J
I woulda need a 20 minute nap.
A
thats a trained body reaction. Usually because most people have sex then go to bed. So your body is just following the routine. If you have sex in the morning it would have the opposite effect.
T
Yeah nah. I only get horny at 3am…my husband goes straight back to sleep. I am wide awake afterwards and lay on bed restless.
I
She says, “Baby, it’s 3AM I must be horny” And he says, “Baby, well, I can help”
C
Patrick: *”Oh boy, 3AM!”*
M
This is the most reddit answer lol Our bodies release hormones after orgasm that make us feel tired, it’s not a “trained reaction”
P
I thought it was the sustained, vigorous humping that made our bodies tired.
S
For males, it can be both. For females, many of us donβt get sleepy.
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