FML
Latest stories
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As the best man, I meticulously crafted my speech, hoping to bring laughter to my friend’s wedding. Midway through, I noticed the bride’s grandfather snoring loudly in the front row. I tried to maintain composure, but a mental image of him loudly waking up just to say, ‘What did I miss?’ made me lose my train of thought completely.
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I thought giving my dad a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug would be sweet, but then my brother gifted him a mug with ‘Best Dad Ever’—talk about sibling rivalry, right?
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During my wedding, my grandpa gave a speech that somehow turned into a roast of my childhood—the embarrassing stories just kept coming, and I… didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
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I was supposed to bring dessert to the family potluck, but I accidentally grabbed my neighbor’s cat litter cake—I think they might avoid me at future gatherings.
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My brother dared me to sing ‘Let It Go’ at Grandma’s birthday party, and now she thinks I’m the next big star—great, now I have to keep performing every holiday.
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I thought wearing my new bright orange sweater would be a hit, until my aunt used it as a backdrop for our family photo—now I’m just the giant pumpkin in every frame.
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At my cousin’s wedding, my mom jumped onto the dance floor like it was a scene from a movie. She started doing the worm, and I felt my face burn as everyone stared in disbelief. I thought she might stop after the first few seconds, but nope, she was in it for the long haul. I still cringe at the thought of the video that probably exists somewhere.
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During our annual family photo, I accidentally stepped on my little sister’s foot just as the camera clicked. Her loud yelp broke the perfect pose, and everyone turned to see her about to cry. In the final photo, I’m striking a goofy pose while she’s glaring at me. It’s now framed in the living room as a reminder of my ‘sibling love.’
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At family gatherings, my dad insists on showing off his famous chili, which he proudly claims has been passed down for generations. One Thanksgiving, he decided to add a ‘secret ingredient’—cinnamon. As my relatives took their first bites, the confused silence was deafening, followed by the awkward coughs. I just sat there, wishing I could disappear under the table while everyone tried to politely chew.
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When my younger brother and I were kids, we had an ongoing competition to see who could get the biggest slice of birthday cake. One year, I decided to pull a fast one and sneak in an extra piece. My parents caught me and made me share it with him, despite his smirk that said he knew exactly what I was doing. I vowed revenge for my sliced dignity.
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At a family reunion, my uncle unexpectedly decided it was time for a talent show. He called me up to perform my karaoke version of a popular song, completely forgetting I had no talent whatsoever. My face turned crimson as I fumbled the lyrics, and my aunt’s laughter echoed warmly, filled with pure joy. I’m not sure which was worse: the performance or the spotlight.
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