FML
Latest stories
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I planned a surprise anniversary dinner for Jamie, complete with candles and her favorite takeout. The only issue? I accidentally ordered double of everything—and didn’t realize until I opened the door to a stack of boxes. As I scrambled to hide the evidence, she walked in, eyebrows raised at the buffet of food I’d just presented her. In an awkward attempt to smooth things over, I declared, ‘It’s a feast fit for a queen!’ momentarily forgetting that she was a vegetarian, and I’d just ordered an entire meat lover’s pizza. She laughed, but I could see the challenge of what to do with the pile of food dawning on her, and I thought, ‘Well, at least the leftovers will be epic.’
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I finally worked up the courage to ask Sarah out after months of awkward smiles across the office. We went to a cute café, and everything seemed to be going well until my phone buzzed. I pulled it out only to see a message from my mom asking if I’d invited Sarah to dinner, not knowing I was on a date. Laughing nervously, I typed back a quick, ‘Yes, it’s going great!’ But in my haste, I mistakenly sent it to Sarah instead. Her smile faltered as she read it, and I wish I could’ve hit ‘unsend’ the moment her expression changed.
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I found this pair of ‘magic’ pants my mom swore would make me grow taller if I wore them, you know, like a kid’s belief in fairy tales. So there I was, strutting around the family gathering in these ridiculous plaid pants, ready to impress everyone. Instead, I overheard my aunt say they looked like something out of a ‘bad 90s fashion show,’ and suddenly, my five-foot frame felt even smaller.
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At the family reunion, my little brother mistakenly thought our cousin’s name was ‘Dumbass’ instead of ‘Thomas’ because he overheard my uncle joking. He called him that for the entire picnic, and the worst part was when he got everyone to chant it thinking it was some kind of inside joke. I was just standing there mortified, hoping no one decided to clue Thomas in until… well, until it got awkwardly quiet.
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I was just trying to show off my killer rendition of ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ at our annual family karaoke night. I didn’t realize my Aunt Linda had one too many glasses of wine, and as soon as I hit the high note, she decided to chime in—off-key and at full volume. Everyone burst into fits of laughter, and I just stood there, microphone in hand, wishing the ground would swallow me whole.
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I found this pair of ‘magic’ pants my mom swore would make me grow taller if I wore them, you know, like a kid’s belief in fairy tales. So there I was, strutting around the family gathering in these ridiculous plaid pants, ready to impress everyone. Instead, I overheard my aunt say they looked like something out of a ‘bad 90s fashion show,’ and suddenly, my five-foot frame felt even smaller.
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At the family reunion, my little brother mistakenly thought our cousin’s name was ‘Dumbass’ instead of ‘Thomas’ because he overheard my uncle joking. He called him that for the entire picnic, and the worst part was when he got everyone to chant it thinking it was some kind of inside joke. I was just standing there mortified, hoping no one decided to clue Thomas in until… well, until it got awkwardly quiet.
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I stepped into the elevator and accidentally greeted my boss’s ghost… uh, I meant ‘guest,’ so now I’m just avoiding eye contact like a pro.
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I meant to send a work update to my team but accidentally replied-all to the entire company with a meme about procrastination—my boss just… replied with a thumbs up.
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I practiced my presentation for days, but when I got to the slide with the chart, I accidentally clicked on my cat picture—my boss loved it way more than the actual data.
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I got all dressed up for a romantic dinner only to realize I was at the wrong restaurant—my date was waiting for me at an entirely different place across town. At least I enjoyed my spaghetti alone?
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