FML
Latest stories
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I grabbed my keys, walked out of my apartment, and realized I had locked myself out. My phone was inside.
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I spent an hour explaining a complicated work process to a colleague, only to find out they already knew it better than I did.
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I was ranting about my boss on the phone when I heard a cough… from the other line. Yeah, it was him.
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I wore my favorite suit for a job interview that I was sure would land me a promotion. I was feeling great until I spilled coffee on my shirt right before leaving. I rushed home to change, but when I grabbed a different shirt, I didn’t notice it was covered in cat hair. I showed up to the office looking like I just finished wrestling a llama. The hiring manager chuckled during our chat, but it wasn’t the good kind of laughter. Can you say awkward?
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I finally decided to impress my crush by cooking a fancy Italian dinner. I practiced for days but forgot to check the pantry before shopping. On the big night, I opened the fridge to find my family had devoured the last of the cheese. No pasta dish without cheese, right? I panicked and substituted with whatever was left: peanut butter and jelly on toast. She walked in, and I thought, well, at least it’s… unique? She smiled, took a bite, and said, ‘Wow, this is definitely… different.’ Yeah, it didn’t go well.
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I planned a surprise party for my sister’s birthday, down to the last detail. When the day finally came, I was so excited. But while trying to sneak out to grab the cake, I accidentally locked myself in the bathroom. No phone, no way to call for help—just me and my thoughts. I could hear everyone arriving, singing ‘Happy Birthday’ as I desperately banged on the door. It took ten minutes and the neighbors’ assistance to finally break it down. I’ll always be remembered as the ‘Party Prisoner’ now.
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I was in a meeting with the big boss when I accidentally called him by my coworker’s name, like, three times. Each time, I tried to cover it up by making a joke about ‘keeping it casual.’ But the awkward silence that followed was almost deafening. I awkwardly laughed, he didn’t laugh back, and I could’ve sworn I saw him mentally note ‘avoid this one in future meetings.’
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I practiced my presentation for days and felt ready—until my boss decided to join the meeting five minutes late. I clicked to the first slide and, of course, the animation didn’t work. As I fumbled with the remote, I could see my coworker stifling laughter; great, just what I needed. The slides eventually decided to cooperate, but I swear I could feel my face turning into a tomato.
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I finally took her out to that fancy restaurant, only to find out I accidentally booked a reservation for the wrong day. The look on her face when we walked in and saw the ‘Closed for Renovations’ sign was priceless, especially when I tried to play it off as a surprise.
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I complimented his shoes at the bar, thinking I was flirtatiously charming, but he just stared at me wide-eyed before letting me know they were his late grandmother’s. I never knew footwear could carry so much emotional weight.
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I finally decided to try out for the community theater production because, you know, I’d always wanted to be on stage. I showed up to auditions, totally ready, only to realize I had mixed up the dates and it was actually the day of the big football game—my friends were all there instead. I spent the evening sitting on my couch, watching them post about how much fun they were having while I was, uh, rehearsing my monologue in front of the TV. Guess I’ll try again next season.
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