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Frozen in place
B
It’s just Lucy from Narnia without breaking copyright. Like how they’ll have Sonic the Hedgehog but he’s called Blue Racing Hamster or smth.
D
Hey fuck you. Blue Racing Hamster was an original idea damn it!
P
It always sucked when he died and lost all his onion rings
D
Yea but don’t worry, his best friend Ears the coyote is always there to help him out!
B
I always liked when his friend Large Hands Monotreme showed up
B
Fun fact about Knuckles: he has a 4 headed penis. I’m not sure why, but echidnas have a 4-headed penis. Only 2 of the heads become erect at a time. Rotating which heads become erect each time. I’m genuinely curious what a platypus’s penis looks like. Speaking of monotremes. You just know an animal like that has a messed up dong.
B
Fuck dude with facts like that we’re friends already. I am literally shocked I don’t know what a platypus dick looks like. I’m going to guess it’s got barbs like a cat but is prehensile like a elephant.
B
Lol I was almost going to say elephant penises aren’t prehensile, but I saw a video of an elephant scratching an itch on its stomach with its erect penis the other day. So, I don’t know if that counts. Oh shit. I just looked up a [platypus penis ](https://oddorganisms.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/platypus-penis.png?w=338&h=447)and you got the spines right, apparently. And danged if it doesn’t have multiple heads, too. But only 2 heads. Which I bet take turns being erect. Ya learn something new every day.
B
I sort of collect weird animal sex facts so I feel pretty confident in my assertions about elephant cocks. Like a second trunk back there. Dolphins and some whales too I think. But holy shit the platypus penis is something brand new to me. I don’t know how to sincerely say thank you. Because that is gross as fuck. But I’m fascinated. I can’t believe I called the spines. Nice call on the multiple heads. If I had to put money on that I’d have lost. It looks like a cactus from no man’s sky. Learning is so fun sometimes
B
Ah well then, let me explain the duck sex thing to you. I’m sure that’s a bit of a teaser. I’m sure you’re familiar with the fact that birds usually have no penis or vagina or urethra or anus. Just one cloaca that manages everything. But, apparently some birds DO have a penis/vagina, which includes ducks. They account for about 5% of bird species. When birds with a cloaca mate, the perform what researchers call a “cloacal kiss” where they simply do a quick cloacal high-five and that’s that. Just one quick tap. Seems efficient. Ducks, on the other hand are very rapey when it comes to mating. Usually it’s a dozen or so males all trying to force themselves on a single unwilling female. So, to prevent being impregnated by just any duck, the female’s vagina is shaped like a maze. With switchbacks and dead-ends and such. In order to successfully copulate, the male duck must “solve” the maze with his penis. So, having the longest, corkscrewiest penis is an advantage. An extreme case of this is the Argentine Lake Duck, which measures about 30cm (12in) but has a penis that’s 45cm (18in) long. Which is gigantic in itself. But, it’s the largest penis in the animal kingdom, relative to the size of the animal. It would be like if humans had 9 foot penises. The really interesting part, is it only takes on this priapusesque form during mating season. Once mating season is done, the duck’s penis shrinks to just 10% of its original size. This is probably my favourite animal penis/sex fact ever. I don’t know why. The idea of instead of having sex, you have to solve a vagina-maze with only your penis and the prize is babies is just hilarious to me. But interesting, too. I’m a sucker for all sorts of interesting factoids and things like that. People ask me how I know all of this stuff, but if you just learn one a day, it adds up. Hell, I’m coming up on my 15,000th day alive. Even taking 1/3 off, that’s 10,000 factoids. And I definitely learn more than one each day.
B
Okay, just for fun, I looked up pics of real echidna and playpus penises. This kinda makes me wonder if there were any other monotremes that are now exinct. Or if platypus and echidnas are it. Also realizing if dinosaurs were birds, they must have used the cloacal kiss method. I’m just picturing 2 T-Rex trying to tap their cloacas together in an awkward dance. [Echidna penis.](https://scx2.b-cdn.net/gfx/news/2021/solving-the-mystery-of-1.jpg) Looks more like a scrotum to me. But, to each their own. And a [platypus penis.](https://live-production.wcms.abc-cdn.net.au/459a3b174b58fb96f572f2c5c41c4610?impolicy=wcms_crop_resize&cropH=467&cropW=700&xPos=0&yPos=0&width=862&height=575) complete with what appear to be keratinous, rear facing spines just like a cat’s penis. Good call on that one. I’m wondering what the two pointy bits on each head are. They look like claws or something. Definitely close to what I always imagined Klingon penis to look like.
B
This just makes me picture a coyote with like 20 ears positioned circumferentially around the crown of his head. Rotating rapidly around his head to generate lift.
C
We don’t call them “rings”; they’re “tori” (TOR-eye), the plural of torus.
B
Good call. I usually say toroid to cover my bases, but either is valid, really. It’s like going out of your way to call a basket ball a sphereoid.
L
Blue Racing Hamster and Two Tails Fox? the ones that fight Egg shape Professor? I liked the one with red boxing gerbil. he’s cool.
D
Egg shaped Professor? Do you mean Professor Huevo?
O
I think you mean maestro huevo hombre
I
And Three-Tailed Coyote
A
Egg Fu
L
Dr. Robotnik
G
I prefer Black Rollerskate Hamster. When him and Blue Racing Hamster get all the Messy Sapphires and combine their powers, I got so pumped.
B
Eggman is and always will be Robotnik to me. I haven’t played any Sonic games since 3/Sonic and Knuckles, or watched any of the movies. So, my memory is still pure. Heh
S
Like Ricky Rouse or Monald Muck!
I
Whoa why so defensive about Blue Racing Hamster
L
There’s cartoon that predates Sonic called “The Bluffers” It’s about a blue superfast squirel named Zip who lives in the last forest with his friends and is defending the last forest from a fat industrialist in red clothes who has a thing for robots and technology. Zip’s friends include a smart fox and a very aggressive echidna. Zip’s girlfriend is pink and has a flower based name.
I
*Blue Speed Mouse
G
I’m my original character, [Blonic!](https://youtu.be/8fGFjoeyc6I?si=psRRwTpC1f6tFgnu)
T
much better than what i initially thought. my brain jumped to knock off anne frank costume
M
Red plumber man
T
My favorite is [Evil Midweek Cutie](https://www.reddit.com/r/crappyoffbrands/comments/1fkhb9q/evil_midweek_cutie_juice_demon/).
K
Tuesday
R
My immediate thought
D
Sonichu surely?
N
I once went as Walter White using a yellow ‘bad chemist’ hazmat suit
E
Yeah the tags are British, not supposed to be yellow stars
B
I was raised on Ultra Italian Stereotype Plumbers.
J
I was gonna say, this name is a bit much when what they meant could be so concisely summed up in 3 letters… But yeah, Narnia. That’s more than likely it.
K
That’s still pretty niche no?
A
Ok so I wasnt imagining things lol…
B
I think it might be a take on Lucy Pevensie from Chronicles of Narnia?
P
You’re thinking of Magical Cupboard Lion Allegory Escape Girl
A
Or MCLAEG for short. Sounds like a Scottish surname.
J
There was a Scottish character in every episode of SpongeBob, you can always hear someone calling his name every time at least once.
G
McLæg
D
Im Mc Leod from the Clan of Mc Leod
Z
Nowhere near as good as Grey Applicability Wizard!
B
Dead accurate!
G
Not that weird, kids were sent away from cities to the countryside in the UK during the Blitz in WW2 to avoid the bombs. It’s the whole setup of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe too, how the kids end up in the house that takes them to Narnia.
M
Also bedknobs and broomsticks.
K
Yes but what child wants to be that for Halloween?
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