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**What Happened:** It was a typical Monday morning, and I was running late for work. As I rushed into the office, coffee in one hand and my bag in the other, I accidentally collided with my boss right as he was coming out of the elevator. To my horror, my coffee went flying and splattered all over his crisp white shirt. In a panic, I quickly blurted out, “Uh … sir?” thinking perhaps my coffee explosion could be some bizarre form of apology.
**Why It’s Funny:** The look on his face was priceless. Instead of getting upset, he stared at the stain and then at me, bewildered. After a moment, he straightened up and declared, “At least it’s not Monday until I say it is!” And just like that, my morning blunder transformed into an office inside joke that we’d laugh about for weeks, especially every time he wore white!
F
Oh god it took me way too long to figure this out. So his rank is Lieutenant Colonel, his last name is Sergeant, the Air Force gives people in his position a special room marked “Commander”, and the room is his “Private” area where he’s not to be disturbed.
G
Thanks, I got the first four, but the “private” confused me. But it just referring to a “private room” makes sense.
R
Cause I don’t think there is a private rank in Air Force
J
There is, but you just don’t hear about them in public.
E
Well, you *didn’t* prior to this comment…
T
An about face if you will
B
You seem at ease with punnery
D
Are they embarrassed about their privates?
T
I got private, but couldn’t figure out commander
M
LTC Sergeant is the Commander of the unit.
M
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin\_Admiral](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Admiral) He’s a current US Army general, but his last name is admiral. I can only imagine the funny conversations that must have happened. \-I’m here to see the general \-Do you mean Admiral? \-No stupid, the general
H
Reminds me of when I was working at an army base and I asked one of the soldiers where the head is, and he replied “aint no head, we shit in the latrine like god intended”.
I
Don’t forget that he had to be Private Admiral long before he became Lieutenant General Admiral.
B
More likely started as Lieutenant Junior Grade as he has degrees, but also his spouse is listed as “Chairman Admiral” which is also great.
R
I’ll bet he got trolled constantly during those days lol
R
I had a Drill Sergeant Sergeant in basic training. 🤣 Can imagine the ribbing he got going through basic being Private Sergeant
P
Did he have an identical twin brother that was also a Sergeant? I might have known one of them.
D
Admiral General Aladeen
5
Is that military practice to label rooms as “private” or was that just the Lt. Col. making his name even funnier looking on the door?
B
Almost certainly the latter
D
Same reason when my buddy Justin Parts went in, he could never get a promotion. They just thought “Private Parts” was too damn funny.
S
Same, it took me a second. And then I laughed much harder than expected. Big time “who’s on first” vibes
F
The as I was going over it in my head I noticed I was making the same face as the guy in the photo and it definitely made my day
D
Word play was the peak of comedy, pre-1970
S
Still is.
A
I have to believe that the lettering is usually smaller for most of that, but when Lt. Col. Sergeant showed up, the person in charge of updating the door refused to pass up the opportunity.
D
Gotta respect that commitment to the joke.
A
Have you seen Major Major Major Major? Lieutenant Colonel Sergeant is looking for him.
F
And you know that the guy responsible for for installing the signage took great joy that day. Commander probably either chuckled or rolled his eyes at the shit he has to put up with.
N
Rank and names can be funny in the military. When I was in the Air Force, I served in the middle east with a dude named Senior Airman Spots. He joked one day, “I had to be in the Air Force. Couldn’t be in the Army or Marines… Private Spots? The NAVY? Fuck… Seaman Spots!? No thanks man.”
G
Correct, except his job/position is Commander so that comes before his rank.
E
You think a pirate lives behind that door?
R
I see a door marked private
S
The middle three lines are the name and rank, in other words.
S
Yeah this took me a few moments to get too lol
–
He reports to General Specific
R
We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor? Radio clearance, over, Clarence. That’s Clarence Oveur, over.
F
Don’t call me Shirley.
D
Father Mayii? Yes you may
R
I know you, you’re Kareem Abdul Jabbar!
V
You ever seen a grown man naked?
B
Guy in the bed over there thinks he’s Ethyl Merman
S
I miss comedies with this level of wordplay. The Naked Gun with Liam Neeson was great, but I need more.
H
P.L.O.T. Device had me chuckling more than it should have.
N
My last name is Major. And my First name is Major. And my middle name is Major. My father thought he was hilarious coming up with that.
A
Were you also promoted to the rank of Major really quickly, Major Major Major Major?
F
It was an I.B.M. machine that promoted him. Damn clankers.
P
They changed it in the movie: they had already written their plans and schedules for the next several months with the assumption he was a major, and promoting him was less of a hassle.
N
Battlestar Galactica called me about this and they said to pass on this message: The Politically Correct term is Toasters & they want the same rights as humans……okay……I hope we understand each other here.
Z
They want the same rights as humans? Probably shouldn’t have blown the entire 12 colonies to radioactive hell then…
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