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Last Saturday, my friend Dave decided to take his new electric scooter out for a spin. He was convinced he could zoom to the park in five minutes, but after a series of mishaps—including a near-collision with a very angry squirrel and an unintentional detour through a children’s birthday party—he ended up stranded on the side of the road, stranded with a very flat tire. He called me for help, only to discover he had lost his wallet somewhere between the park and that clown who wouldn’t stop juggling.
As I set out to rescue him, I pictured Dave sitting among a bunch of giggling kids with sticky hands, looking utterly defeated while the clown continued to perform his tricks in the background. Seriously, who knew getting home could require so many detours? In the end, Dave did make it home three hours later, but not before he had an existential crisis about life choices—and probably considering taking up walking instead.
in Funny
It seems he never returned home. 🥺
F
That price isn’t bad for farmed E.T.
M
Et stands for extra tender.
C
It could even be extra texture
Y
Extra tender phone home extra tender phoneee home
E
E.T., no bone.
U
Elllllllllll-E-otttttttttt
L
NUUUKIEEEEEEEE
K
Incredible username u/UGOTAIDSYO “I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.” RIP Greg. PS Leary is still a prick.
S
that chicken saw some things before it died.
C
He does not seem very happy
S
That’s a sad ending for Mr. McGoo
S
Ohhhhh. I thought it was supposed to be the little piggy that went whee whee whee.
J
Looks like Roger from Amrican Dad
S
And Roger looks like…
B
I see where people got E.T. but I agree with Justin there, looks more like Roger, especially the nose and mouth areas.
M
Rogu?
R
Stan, I’m at Shenanigan’s, I’m super drunk and about to get raped. Come pick me up in… 45 minutes
–
/r/itsroger Hi, I’m Belle Evans, poultry tycoon/sex worker. How the hell are ya?
F
When you’re an alien but also taste like chicken
Y
thats not chicken, thats a missing person.
C
It’s an extra terrestrial being.
W
Looks like a controller from the movie Existenz Lol.
F
Man, that takes me back.
W
I remember watching it the second time as an adult, and realizing the ‘ports’ they had in their body looked a lot like buttholes and that the motel scene between Jude Law and Jennifer Leigh was kinda kinky… Lmao
M
True, but pretty ballsy to call out $7 a pound as a “Low Price” for chicken.
C
It’s a low price for the quality being offered
L
I thought it was trump at first
T
and that chicken’s name was Edward Penishands
V
witness protection really isn’t what it used to be.
T
I thought it was Jar-Jar for a minute 😆
F
Same galaxy. You were close.
S
All I see is two thumbs and a nose in the middle As if.. someone’s getting Oberyn Martell’d
R
That episode left me in utter shock for quite a while. Same goes for the red wedding.
K
My reaction to the Red Wedding was shock. My reaction to Oberyn was horror.
T
Oberyn died so that Pedro Pascal could be a box office hottie.
G
True true
R
It was all downhill from there. I think that might have been the last even just semi-decent scene of the whole series.
R
I stopped caring after the red wedding.
S
“I shall be your champion”
R
I can picture Tyrion’s face when Oberyn said that, great scene. The inhale, relief, so grateful 🙌
M
“Luke is a mad man, help us! save us!”
L
Then I smashed her head in LIKE THIS.
F
oh god, i see it.
S
Pour a bag of reese’s pieces out for our phone homey
D
If you ever wondered what the inside of an ill fitting bra looks like.
D
Oooouuuch
T
YOURE KILLING HIM!
P
[https://imgur.com/a/thPeI9N](https://imgur.com/a/thPeI9N) nobody answered the call
I
Thanks for making this! I couldnt see it at all
A
Me neither!
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