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The other day, I was watching my friend’s three kids building a “fort” out of couch cushions and blankets. I thought it was adorable until I realized they had expertly crafted a trapdoor that only allowed entry to the realm of snack time. When I asked them about their impressive engineering skills, one kid proudly shouted, “It’s what we learned in honor of our snack-themed science project!” Clearly, their parents had a unique approach to education.
It’s hilarious to think about how parenting styles shape kids. While some parents focus on reading and math, others seem to be cultivating a future snack-ologist! It’s a reminder that no matter how you raise them, those tiny humans will always find a way to turn life lessons into an impressive buffet. Just wait for the day they start charging admission to their snack fort!
T
I picked up a bag of free baby clothes from someone. One of the outfits said something like “Newborn but have the penis of a 5 year old.” It was gross. Who the fuck wants to be advertising their babies dick size to people?
P
This is exactly why “it’s all in how you raise them” matters. That shirt choice is just… not okay.
I
Thank you. Hate this and do not find stuff like this cute or funny at all. Sexualizing breastfeeding in general makes lots of women wildly uncomfortable because who wants to be opening themselves up to that multiple times a day *while* they’re with their child? I can see why it feels gross. Like the cluelessness and insensitivity of not being able to shut up about “ooh boobies” long enough to not basically taunt women about it really bugs me. People who find this shit funny are insufferable.
A
That stuff winds up in a landfill after like one use.
U
No kidding. My parents bought my kids onesies that said, ‘what happens at grandmas stays and grandmas’… Fast forward a decade, guess who isn’t allowed to have access to the kids for teaching them to lie?
K
Ew. What the actual fuck??? I don’t want to know anyone who would buy that or put that on a child. But I feel like CPS should meet them….
A
CPS should be visiting whomever made the shirt as well…
H
This feels like a gag gift you give your mate when hes the one in the group everyone jokes about having a big dick. Everyone laughs about the shirt and how dumb it is before it goes in the trash or never gets worn
N
Completely rational take.
L
I would argue that making something for the sole purpose of throwing it in a landfill is irrational
R
Yep massive red flag sexualizing children/babies. People are gross.
V
But yet when you point out how thwyre swxualizing babies they cry that theyre not and how theyre actually totally against pedos and refuse to actually engage in the conversation.
F
How much you wanna bet that they also think teaching kids that some people are gay is sexualizing and “grooming” them?
H
My mom named those onesies “one and done,” because she’d put me in them (only at home) when I had an upset stomach and was bound to have a blow out. Then she’d trash it and not feel guilty.
D
I couldn’t comprehend what on the fuck it even said because it is so horrible. “Newborn but have the pe-#&$^%%#%#&#%%” type shit Why the fuck do people think that shit is cute or funny????????
W
I have a pretty morbid, messed up Sense of humor but… That’s too effed up, even for me. My mind just doesn’t want to go there 😞
S
You’d be surprised (maybe not) by the number of otherwise seemingly normal people who say unhinged things about babies. Sweet little grandma comforting a baby who was crying after a diaper change because he’d recently had a circumcision… *”It’s okay, sweetie, mommy and daddy had to do it so now you can get a girlfriend!”* I’d love to say I’d never heard someone say so many wrong things all at once but, sadly, I have heard that happen plenty. Hell, I once heard a mom of a critically ill newborn give a little laugh as I helped transfer her very ill, intubated newborn into her arms (removing her swaddle in the process so mom could do skin-to-skin…) and then the mom said, *”Uh-oh! Your boobies are out! Better not tell your daddy your boobies were out!”* Anyway, I have a pretty long list of people I think belong in volcanoes.
D
I always wish people like this would not have babies.
B
🤮
D
Low IQ and low-class people
T
gross.
F
r/AreTheStraightsOK
P
It’d be funnier if the shirt said, “my dad’s almost as mature as me”
B
r/trashy
X
fr what’s with people sexualizing babies? The kid might still turn out alright but as the mom, why would you want this kind of attention?
E
This along with old people always asking young kids “do you have any girlfriends???” “Ohhh is Suzy your girlfriend??” Like no they’re just fucking playing. Let them see each other as the same for a little longer.
S
This kinda bs drove me away from male friends as a little kid
X
Awh that is so sad. Some of my best friendships are with the opposite sex. Let kids be kids for cryin out loud, why do we have to bring our adult perspective in to ruin the fun?
F
Not just sexualizing babies… there’s also the incest part. The whole “babies are lucky cause they get to suck boobs” joke is doubly fucked up cause… that’s their mom! Like I’ve heard jokes on tv and movies my whole life about dads being jealous of their babies cause they get to suck the moms breasts. It’s such a fucking weird concept for a joke. I certainly joked about how my wife’s breasts were off limits to me because they were reserved for feeding the baby and not fun… but that’s a little different than suggesting the baby is getting some kind of sexual joy out of their mothers breasts. It’s super weird on two fucked up levels.
G
OP is the kind of mum who wants her son to grow up to give her the kind of attention that her husband only gives her when it’s breedin’ time.
Y
And also, when the kid asks to see his baby pictures, this is what he is going to see. Imagine getting out your baby book for your partner and seeing this.
K
Yep. If queer people did this type of shit theyd never hear the end of it but a shirt like this or one saying ladies man or some shit is just totally normal.
S
I literally thought the title was calling out sexual harassers until I saw the emoji and subreddit name. Seven. Thousand. Upvotes.
O
The comments are a relief 😮💨 yeah these shirts are weird
H
Yeah I did a double take at the sub, same as you was relieved by the comments 😭
P
Yeah I thought this was the /r/Trashy sub for a second 🤢
F
I thought it had to be r/facepalm or r/sadcringe.
P
Yeah but look how upvoted the post is. Apparently, most people think this isn’t creepy
G
Yeah, that’s the sad part.
C
4k is not most people. But give it a couple more weeks…
K
I bought pyjamas for my newborn that said NO MILK NO LIFE with a black and white cow pattern/theme And even then I was on the fence about it, feeling a bit too silly
H
It may be silly, but at least it’s appropriate.
C
If I saw a baby wearing this I would think their dad is a creep.
E
or a teenager
R
Mom too
S
I love how it’s immediately dad’s fault
M
It could be mom’s favorite outfit sure. Both women and men find it funny that boobs are sexual for every body until a newborn exists an then suddenly we recognize that breasts also feed babies. But I think there are two very distinct categories of jokes that trend along gendered lines. Again, I am speaking of most-likelies. None of this is certainty. Men find if funny that babies need a part of a woman’s body that they find sexual. So their jokes tend to be crass pick up lines or other lines emphasizing a baby sexualizing an adult woman. Women tend to find it funny that women become food sources upon birth of a child. Their jokes tend to be about how silly it is that boobs are what provide food to babies so they’ll call themselves a “milk bar” or otherwise approach it from the perspective that food is now a little sexual instead of something sexual has become food. It might be subtle to some people, but I contend theirs a tonal difference that makes it often easier to tell who the intended audience was
B
Considering all the crap moms get blamed for dads deserve some once in a while.
F
Because it often is. When kids are sexualised by dads, they’re the ones mentioning the boobs. Most moms who breastfeed won’t be saying this shit because they’re touched out and would want their body for themselves for a min. They won’t be thinking about their breasts sexually. When I’ve seen women objectify kids, it’s always in the form of “he’ll be a heartbreaker soon”, “she’s so tiny she should be a model already”, asking littlest of kids about boyfriends and girlfriends. The little no. of women who do joke like this are as trashy as men who constantly see women as sex objects, and their kids as sex trophies. I’ve had dads bring in their kids in similar disgustingly worded prints on outfits in nurseries and kindergarten, never a mom who did that.
L
It’s crass as hell to make a baby wear something like this. Gross.
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