Jeff decided it was time to impress his friends with his cooking skills, even though the last time he tried, he set off the smoke alarm while microwaving a frozen pizza. Undeterred, he opened a recipe app and confidently committed to making homemade pasta from scratch. Long story short, his kitchen looked like a flour explosion had taken place, and when he finally managed to roll out the dough, it resembled a giant pancake more than anything resembling spaghetti.
As Jeff triumphantly lifted the overcooked “pasta” from the pot, it flopped like a sad pancake, still intact. His friends burst into laughter, and he declared it a new culinary trend—fettuccine pancake-ini—claiming it was just a “fusion dish.” The best part? His friends loved it, more for the absurdity than the taste, and now they’re constantly asking him to serve “that awesome, wobbly pasta” at every gathering!
in Funny
Jeffrey

M
I also have fewer than 10 nuclear weapons.
I
I don’t fear the man who wants 100 nukes. I fear the man who only wants one.
A
Great movie.
S
I don’t fear the man who fired 10000 nukes once. I fear the man who fired one nuke 10000 times.
S
If you fire the same nuke 10,000 times… it’s probably a dud
D
please, mr, can I have my nuke back?
_
finders keepers
G
2 seems worse
B
Found Jeff
S
Didn’t worry. When we are talking about functional nukes, Russia is probably not that far ahead of you…
S
I never understood the massive stockpiles anyway. No country is equipped to launch several thousand nukes at once including the us or Russia. At best it’s probably about 1500. After the first wave, most silos and bombers will be destroyed. Do we really think we’re going to be resupplying submarines for months? I mean I get maybe some of the silos survive or even you get lucky and they all survive and all the bombers make it back. You still only need an extra 1500 to resupply. Having 7000 seems pointless
D
I might pick one up on my way home from the nuclear weapons surplus store to complement my other 9. Good thinking.
V
> fewer I came.
W
But is it more than zero?
P
And Iran is the world threat…. lol what the actual F. lol. Iran doesn’t have a history of attacking, invading, and manipulating other countries. lol. Idk about, but I know who the terrorist is….
M
WTF are you even talking about?
S
Irans **entire** history is attacking and invading other countries lol wtf are you talking about?
P
Jeff plays a lot of Civilization and knows that Gandhi of India shouldnt be trusted
L
Knew Jeff was up to something.
J
Hey! We’re just prepared
B
See he is just prepared. Besides Jeff is a good guy Geoff on the other hand. I don’t trust that fucker.
Q
Yeos, Geoff is an idiot. He’s deofinitely up to something.
J
All Geoffs have been ejected from the Council of Jeffs… for obvious reasons
S
Can’t fault that tbh
J
Shhhh dont tell them
A
Classic Jeff
T
What a boy scout
O
CEO, entrepreneur Born in 1964
A
Hey the apocalypse wall can only do but so much to protect Fort Jefferson. It’s only natural for him to make some nukes too.
M
We actually do not know that, zero is <10.
D
China is above 1k now I believe and is building over a thousand more.
Y
I think France is also in the 400’s currently. But what this chart doesn’t really convey that matters more, is long distance delivery capability. US, France, and possibly China are the only countries with highly accurate, long range, hypersonic delivery. Edit: and India as of today! Russia has slower ICBM’s for global reach, and short range hypersonics, but they rely on quantity to overwhelm their targets. France could accurately put a nuke on the Kremlin and there’s nothing Moscow could do to stop it, while Russia would just fire a dozen slower nukes to get the same job done. Russia’s capabilities are essentially still the USSR’s capabilities, without advancement in 50 years. Maintaining a massive quantity is cool for winning at charts, but it comes with high maintenance costs, and there’s a solid chance that a significant portion of Russia’s arsenal is degraded, and not currently functional. India’s new long range hypersonic makes them a bigger threat than Russia too, IMO.
L
China also casually announced they gonna run a test hitting some place in the ocean and hit fairly accurately.
H
UK’s trident?
D
They lack the total numbers of France and only have the trident. But it is an accurate long-range system.
H
>They lack the total numbers of France I think anyone with less nukes than Russia and America take the sensible approach in that if they’re firing 200 nukes, even if only 100 land, what on earth would they need the other 7000 nukes for? Other than to prove who has the biggest dick of course.
P
Yeah, I suppose it’s like throwing someone off the 10th floor vs throwing them off the top of the Burj Khalifa. You are dead either way.
D
Guaranteeing the destruction of military and industrial sites, with multiple warheads per site while retaining the ability to launch against other nuclear powers.
C
Soon as nukes start flying the world is over, you don’t need thousands. 10 on any country is enough to pretty much take them off the board or at least do irreversible damage.
Y
Sorry I totally blanked on the UK, yes.
M
What did India do today?
Y
Demonstrated their new missile that is now 100% Indian, with long range capabilities, a top speed of Mach 10 and cruise speed of Mach 5. Edit – swapped a better article https://swarajyamag.com/defence/indias-hypersonic-strike-capability-steps-out-of-the-shadows
T
Mach 10 iis 12348 km/h… goddamn
J
Russia recently developed the Satan 2 nuke, which has a range of 35,000 km (22,000 mi). Which means it can fly south, over Antarctica, and hit wherever. The US’s anti ICBM defenses are all located in the northern states.
F
I wonder if they will me have one, I mean Jeff gets under 10… Should I ask if it comes with a delivery system?
O
Jeff saw what happened to Qaddafi and thought “that could be me.”
H
Jeff is a good guy. Nothing to worry about
W
My name’s Jeff
C
Probst?
M
Bezos.. Amazon really does have everything
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