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Last week, I walked into my grandma’s living room only to find her trying to glide across the hardwood floor in her fuzzy slippers with a frying pan as a makeshift Olympic torch. Apparently, she had decided that the Winter Olympics had provided her with more than just entertainment—it had inspired her to create her own event: the inaugural “Grandma Games.” She was practicing for her debut in the “Slipper Skating” category, despite the fact that she was balancing on one leg and clutching a box of cookies in the other hand.
Watching her wobble around, trying to channel her inner figure skater while simultaneously munching on chocolate chip cookies was a sight to behold. I couldn’t tell if she was auditioning for a medal or just performing a bizarre combination of sports and snacking. When she declared that new events like “Curling with Cats” and “Pillow Toss” should be considered for next year’s games, I realized that Olympic inspiration had truly taken a hilarious turn in her world!
in Funny
My grandmother has watched quite a lot of the Winter Olympics.
T
I hope she doesn’t see the ski jumping
T
Or the women’s snowboard halfpipe final.
L
Tomorrow, grandma doing a triple axel on her flippers.
J
Nanny Luge and Skeleton!
G
She must be from Canada, because if you mention curling to any other Nana, they would be doing this with Hot Rollers in their hair.
D
Scotland enters the chat…
F
Part scottish here, someone called the scotland squad?
W
Don’t see her burning the stone by touching the granite.
H
Definitely have her stay away from bobsledding “Granny, ya dead?”
D
Ya, hon!
E
Downhill Alpine skiing and there’s no stopping her.
J
Or the Super G for Grandma
K
Just show her Lindsey Vonn’s video of her crashing and breaking her leg AFTER she had Already torn her ACL and decided to race anyway. Grandma, I know we still feel as if we’re in our late 20s or early 30s but trust me when we go down our bones will instantly let us know our true age. But bless your heart for giving it all you’ve got, “DREAM BIG!” Just do it in your sleep 😴
M
HARRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDD
C
Whenever they yell CURRRRRRRLLLLLLL I like to imagine they’re excitedly shouting the name of their sport
D
“parkour parkour!”
N
Like Schmidt in New Girl? 🤣
G
most likely The Office https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Kvw2BPKjz0
N
There are sides to the trajectory of the stone they are calling. “HARD” usually means to sweep on the outside of the path to keep it moving. “CURL” means to sweep on the inside of the path to increase the curling of the stone.
J
> the curling of the stone. Is that a LOTR of Harry Potter book?
C
It’s the Canadian edition
F
BASKETBALLLLLL \*dunks\*
B
Phew, glad I’m not the only one.
G
CLEEEEEEAAAANNNNNN, CLEAN!!!!!
U
HURRY HARD!
S
WHOA WHOA
I
me too
A
WOAH!
N
I’m also into granny’s
O
YEP…YEP…YEPYEPYEPYEOOPPPPP
X
Your grandmother rocks!
M
Too right, trying to age with that much fun in my life.
B
#GOLD MEDAL FOR GRAM GRAM!
D
I think they’re called stones.
W
Put that one right in the house.
R
Curling is a sneaky good sport. So interesting, so tense.
Q
It’s one of those sports that only gets better the more you understand it. The best players are thinking 3 or 4 stones away and and trying to set up shots and anticipate their opponents shots
D
As someone who curls on the home ice of the 2018 gold medal team, I concur.
T
do you curl for the sport or do you curl to tell people you CUURRLLLLL
C
It’s the one that gets all the jokes because it looks stupid, and it kinda is, but watch a game and you’ll get it. It’s harder than it looks, and there’s much more strategy than you’d think. It’s a shame bowls is so boring, it’s basically the same thing.
J
“It looks stupid” ou stands because people are not used to it. Like wearing skirts was all the rage for Romans and pants were barbaric to them, the clothing of the savages. Look at football, both of them. For someone far removed I am sure it looks silly. Things that were unthinkable are a part of life now and vice versa.
H
Grandma’s officially qualified for the armchair biathlon snacks in one hand, remote in the other, perfect aim every time.
V
Haha love this! We’re getting some good ‘uns on the sub today.
G
ikr! Every time I come here today I end up giggling.
W
I really hope I will retain that sense of humour as I get older. 😂
R
Hilarious
Z
Can someone explain how the points work for me in that game? All these years and I still don’t understand
T
The extremely short version: one point for every stone in the target that’s closer to the center of the target than any opponent stones. So if you have 2 stones in the target that are closer to the center than the opponents 1 stone that’s in the target, that’s 2 points. Note: I am not a curling expert and this is the very basic scoring rules as I understand them. There may be nuances I’m not aware of.
Z
So if you had 1 stone closer than the opponents 2 stones you only get 1 point and they get zero?
B
yes, kind of like horseshoes, bocci ball, or cornhole
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