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Last Saturday, my friend Dave decided to host a backyard soccer tournament. He was so excited that he rallied everyone, regardless of their skill level. As you can imagine, the game quickly turned into a hilarious spectacle. Most of us hadn’t kicked a ball since middle school gym class! The “team captain” effectively ended up being the resident golden retriever, who thought the whole thing was a game of fetch. We spent more time chasing after him than the actual ball.
Imagine a group of adults trying to channel their inner Messi but consistently missing the ball and tripping over each other—like a slapstick comedy without a script. At one point, I went for a dramatic header and instead face-planted in the mud, while the dog celebrated my failure with a slobbery kiss. The real MVP turned out to be the pizza delivery guy, who rolled up at halftime. We ended up playing for the pizza instead of the trophy, proving you don’t need skill—you just have to do it for the love of the game…and pizza!
E
I mean… They keep managing to multiply without much issue, so maybe all the other birds are just trying too hard?
A
Work smarter not harder. -Pigeon Mom
A
Lay smarter not safer
E
she was like: its ok i have someone to take care of my egg, im out its my owners responsible now
S
how is your shit moving
A
You’re high
C
I’m high? Your picture is moving man. Wait, maybe I am high
U
I’m high, and that picture *is* moving.
C
Nothing is moving for me, and I’m not high! What am I missing?
U
> What am I missing? The drugs, obviously. (Also, Anon4450’s profile picture is spinning. If on computer, hover your mouse pointer over their name.)
G
I’m so high I feel down. Also on mobile it move without needing further action.
I
It’s all about good fibre intake
E
Lay zee
O
“If they die, they die” – Pigeon mom
U
Lay waste with haste.
P
nice rocky reference
C
eye of the ~~tiger~~ pigeon, man
O
pigeon dude: whats that cuckoo doing here? pigeon mom:
D
Because pigeons evolved from Rock Doves which laid their eggs in rock faces and cliffs where they could be held more easily. Other birds that nest in trees would need more complex nest shapes to hold the eggs secure. Basically pigeons are like ‘eh, good enough’ and find a basic ledge or rock ‘equivalent’ and just make do.
D
Yeah, their “nests” is just enough crap so that the eggs don’t roll off the cliff
D
[Those are still actual nests, though.](https://imgur.com/N18BLaQ) Pigeons are the way they are because they’re a mostly domesticated species and we didn’t need to prioritize nesting behaviors when breeding them. Some of them still do okay nests, but most of them are total idiots.
K
Yeah they are beautiful and minimal! It allows the egg so much space as well. Pigeons are underappreciated.
M
I vote we swap public opinion between blue jays and pigeons given that blue jays are monumental assholes and people like them too much.
K
Yeah, and pigeons can be really pretty too. Emeralds and such.
L
Pigeons were domesticated birds. Then we kind of just stopped caring to keep them when chicken became easier to mass farm. The telegraph and telephones made messenger birds obsolete too.
R
They didn’t lose their instincts in being domesticated, as it’s often claimed or implied when this is mentioned. They nest the exact same way their wild relatives do, and relative to their natural habitats, our cities are paradises for them.
E
You’re in the wrong sub to be coming in here with your logic and rational arguments
B
I’ve had the misfortune of witnessing pigeons mating. There’s plenty of effort, flapping, noise and feathers. They fucked my tree to death.
C
I enjoyed reading this thanks.
B
Don’t mention it.
J
Too late.
O
No thank you, ballsackavatar !
B
[If you insist.](https://youtu.be/H8SZl_YZNgI?si=FtZ9lYOKXnal0udW)
Z
One day when I was in 6th grade, there were 2 pigeons mating on the roof of the math classroom. You wouldn’t believe the size of the crowd of middle schoolers this attracted.
C
Okay did the pigeon or the tree died?
B
The tree.
R
Genuinely how
B
Bleurblblblblblbl. Lots of fapping. Lots of feathers. Repeat x1000000 This kills the tree.
J
Not physically, more like it was dead inside. Then stopped photosynthesizing.
W
Fun fact: Trees are supposed to be dead inside. The living parts of the tree are the bark (and the thin layers beneath it), as well as the leaves or needles. When rveryhing on the inside is dead, you have got yourself a healty tree.
A
Your name is befitting.
H
How does one witness this spectacle? Is there a PigeonHub?
B
First you have a tree. Then the pigeons must appear. I can’t help you with that part, I’m afraid. I’m cursed with an abundance of pigeons, it seems. But if you have a tree, you have a chance.
O
I did not expect to read such a sentence today
I
See I want to get behind this… but then I can’t help but wonder why they even put any sticks at all. Like if they just plopped it on the ground with no other effort, I could accept that they don’t need nests. But they go through the effort of bringing like 2-5 sticks over… Why??
I
The idea is just to keep the eggs from rolling off a ledge. Pigeons used to be “rock doves”, naturally nesting on cliffs, and city buildings mimic that environment
V
Oh that’s why we see them around! So i guess that’s also why i never seen a baby pigeon, they must be on the building roofs.
S
We see them around because they used to be used to deliver messages, but were replaced by the actual mail system/telegram, but they were already adapted to living in cities.
S
pets and food too. It’s like a dumb dog/pig hybrid that we just decided we had no use for and tossed onto the streets. The marks of domestication in their genes is why you can just pick them up if you know the trick (useful for untangling or aiding a pigeon if you’re a kind-hearted city dweller, use rubber gloves though, they’re definitely not clean animals).
B
What’s the trick?
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