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Seems authentic, I’m interested in some complimentary candy!

**What Happened:** Last Halloween, I stumbled upon a flyer in my neighborhood that screamed, “Free Candy!” in bold letters. Naturally, my inner child took over, and I plotted my candy heist with the precision of a heist movie. I donned my “candy-collecting” attire (which was just a hoodie and a fanny pack—very stylish, I assure you) and strutted over to the address listed. To my surprise, it turned out to be an old lady’s house, who had two massive bowls of candy but insisted I perform a quirky dance before I could earn my sugary reward.

**Why It’s Funny:** The sight of me, an adult, doing the worm on a suburban lawn, while the neighborhood kids cheered on with bewildered expressions, was priceless! I’m pretty sure I earned my first ‘performance fee’ in the form of mini Snickers, but I also gained the title of “That Dancing Guy” for the rest of the week. Who knew free candy came with a side of embarrassment and a choreography lesson?

G
Gold_Weakness1157 • 63 points
PedoBear is making a comeback

C
crackrabbit012 • 27 points
Now he’s painted orange with a terrible comb over

D
DJ_Spark_Shot • 6 points
I still prefer sexual harassment panda.

A
Amaria77 • 4 points
Well, he realized we aren’t releasing the epstein files so…

O
Otto_the_Autopilot • 4 points
I had completely forgotten about the little guy. Where has he been?

G
GANDORF57 • 2 points
“***WINDOW-LESS!*** I said ‘a windowless’ van?!”

A
Ashnyel • 33 points
Won’t work on me, I am immune….. Now where did that free 10mm socket van go…..

N
Notreallyaflowergirl • 12 points
It’s over there, in that van with the big red S on it.

T
TheWizardGeorge • 2 points
Weird, I swear it was snap on and not snapped on.. Oh well! Must be a new marketing thing! 10mms here I come!

A
Agitated_Carrot9127 • 1 points
Nods nods yep that red box van with s took thousands dollars from my friends and I. They didn’t even call back f

P
Parthias-one • 3 points
Nah, where’s that van with the free RAM?

M
Mueryk • 2 points
I learned there is a difference between a taco truck and the free taco van. Lying Bastards didn’t even have tacos.

T
TheLowlyPheasant • 0 points
A 10mm van would be hard to spot

U
ummnothankyou_ • 18 points
Ain’t seen CP bear since the old days.

S
SalemKFox • 10 points
*smokes cigarettes* I haven’t seen that bear in years. The internet was such a different world back then.

U
ummnothankyou_ • 4 points
I miss them days, much simpler.

7
7-13-5 • 0 points
Remember when 4chan solved mysteries?

C
CantankerousOctopus • 1 points
I can’t decide if that’s actually true or if it feels true because I was a naive kid back then.

U
ummnothankyou_ • 1 points
It had it’s problems sure, but in general it was still better. At least no algorithms and shit.

I
I-only-read-titles • 2 points
It’s because you’re of age now

T
thetyler83 • 15 points
It’s got windows so it’s clearly safe.

U
UbermachoGuy • 8 points
So did the bang bus. Or so I was told.

T
TheCoordinate • 2 points
The van is such a red flag it becomes a green flag, because there’s no way a real child snatcher would drive around in that.

B
Bowllieo • 7 points
[https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/62g71s/unsuspicious\_van/](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/62g71s/unsuspicious_van/)

M
moondes • 2 points
Oh sweet! So this isn’t AI

B
Bowllieo • 4 points
Yeah that’s why I went digging around lol

F
foehammer111 • 10 points
I didn’t know Trump could drive.

U
UbermachoGuy • 7 points
Everything is computer!

B
Ballsackavatar • 8 points
Pedobear did nothing wrong.

N
NuncioBitis • 7 points
Just like the guy wearing a t-shirt that said “Don’t arrest this guy” while being arrested.

What do you think?

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