This game within a children’s Bible.
in WTF
This surprising game found in a children’s Bible

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I had this exact bible when i was a kid. Reading that bile was often the only, and i mean ONLY, activity available to me. My parents frequently “grounded” me, and by that i mean shunned me, took everything out of my room but a nightstand, a bible (that they sometimes yelled at me over because they couldn’t take that away on religious grounds), and a lamp… sometimes, they would take the lamp, too. So… solitary confinement. I spent collective years of my childhood in solitary confinement, at first 2 week, then a month, the longest was a whole school year minus a few weeks of respite. Being beaten and berated. Tortured, really. I would then proceed to read one of the three most interesting books in the bible. 1st and 2nd Samuel, which play out like a decent fantasy novel… and Revelations, which is an apocalyptic vision of hell on earth, and the end of the world. I was 10 when this started. It did not take many retreads of Revelations in that environment to drive me totally insane. Fearing for the end times and wondering if i’d be left behind. Looking at this image still fills me with a deep, and cold melancholy. It was jungle-island adventure themed. With images of jungle flora, blue-water beaches, tigers, colorful lizards, and buried treasure. The vivid images and artwork in the children’s bible contrasted with my emotionally barren, unstimulated life, in a painful way. The room around me was olive drab green, and decorated with only an american flag. It often darkened into a lonely violet gloom as the sunlight dimmed. And of course, there were passages and excerpts more or less justifying child abuse. There was one about how your parents may not always listen or believe you, but “god” always does, and believe me, in my prayers, i would BEG for mercy from my intensely abusive family, and to not go to hell. That children’s bible is very much responsible for inducing a depressive psychotic episode in me as time went on. I could go on, really… It was very bad. I will live with the consequences of my upbringing for the rest of my life. This children’s bible features prominently in memories of my sterilized childhood.
S
Well fuck. Didn’t expect this opening up the comments.
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Yeah… it happens in dogmatic faith. And of COURSE this game would deprive children of the pleasure of running, which would make this so much more fun. God hates fun. Anyways i caught up on alot of fun by becoming a mega stoner as well.
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Good, drugs are just the best.
H
There’s no hate stronger than Christian “love.” I’m glad you’re in a better place now.
T
Dude, it happens in ALL faith, to some degree. Religion is a plague.
S
The real WTF is always in the comments.
A
Just one of the more serious costs associated with choosing belief over truth.
Z
My parents just made me read the dictionary or the encyclopedia. Best punishment ever, I still can’t pass a dictionary without taking it for a spin to find a new word.
S
You have my most heartfelt pericombobulations
S
TF you call me?
R
I just looked this up. My life is now so much better than I ever thought it could be. Thank you.
D
God i wish. That’s actually productive you know.
A
Hello fellow childhood dictionary/encyclopedia reader. Though i did it voluntarily, i was kind of a weird kid. I guess im still a weird adult. So many interesting and cromulent words to learn!
Z
Definitely embiggens one’s mind.
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I like your word.im taking it.
D
I like your word.im taking it.
O
Holy shit man, that’s some deeply disturbing stuff. I’m glad you are out of there and are hopefully doing better now.
R
As a former child of forced, terrifying, evangelism with all the speaking in tongues and running up and down the aisles in my youth, that fucked me up when I was 6 to 13 years old with Revelation nonsense that has caused me nightmares and depression and suicidal thoughts for years, ruined my fucking life until I was 31 and finally, fucking finally! was able to feel like I could escape mentally from that torture, see myself as an atheist after immersing myself in as much history as possible, religious history as well, learning as much about world religions as possible… Trying to not go insane and figure a life from my very well meaning and devout mother who believes and speaks in tongues and who is a literal saint among people, being a CNA for 40 years… I have to ask how, how! Can you still be religious or spiritual after all you have seen? Because I can’t, I just can’t… And it kills me because my mother is so devout and swears by it and prays for me every day, even on text messages lol. And I just can’t, to me it’s nonsense and harmful, but I can’t reconcile it with my moms beliefs. How do you still how faith in anything? I’m sooo sorry for the book, I just needed to vent I think, don’t feel like you have to respond, I think I’m just having a breakdown is all seeing the question lol, no worries. My bad
O
You’re good haha I can understand a bit of this too, but thankfully my mother while growing up was at least a tad more normal and lax with the religious Catholic stuff. Used to teach us all the basics, went to church, Sunday school, etc. Never harmed us, but from time to time would tell us how being bad would put us in hell, how the devil and the mark will one day be true, etc. Around middle school I started to piece together a lot of that stuff was bullshit myself. I used to read a lot from fiction to non fiction, lots of history about the planet. It dawned on me that all these cultures had different beliefs that seemingly faded into oblivion and were replaced as time went on. Why? Many times just forced coercion and propaganda because some countries were more powerful and influential, sometimes even using violence and wars. Many thought experiments later and by highschool I had kind of already thought most of it was gibberish myself and I didn’t need it. My mother on the other hand much like you is a saint, extremely caring and kind. But my parents ended up getting a divorce. This set my mother into a spiralling mess where she started hanging around this guy who I later learned was a manipulative and abusive asshole. Things got worse and worse, my mother fell into poverty, was assaulted, and when she was at her weakest the churches grabbed hold of her and manipulated the fuck out of her head. She’s now nearly impossible to talk to sometimes, it got so bad I had to tell her to legitimately fuck off because I would wake up with paragraphs of nearly schizophrenic scriptures in SMS messages that were implying I’d one day come back to the faith. She’s been extremely upset I’m an atheist and straight up started disrespecting it more and more until I snapped at her. She recently got remarried to this nice, but weird super religious guy and their house is only decorated by, I kid you not, Jesus everywhere with the occasional Mary. It’s hard to live with that stuff, and it’s hard to talk with family members that have been brainwashed deep into the religion. She thinks all this church stuff is a blessing, from my PoV, they latched onto her because she was weak and easy to manipulate since she had absolutely nothing. Religion took the mother I once loved and could talk to anything about and reduced her to a husk of an amazing woman she used to be when I was growing up. So don’t feel bad, I understand to an extent where you are coming from. I consider myself lucky I wasn’t abused or heavily pushed into the church thanks to my father not entirely caring for it, and having access to an education where I could freely find my own path and wisdom.
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New International Version… Children’s Adventure Bible or something like that.
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Yeah it was… certainly something. They had at least one other theme, my sister had a pink one i believe. It’s sad because Jesus was a seriously cool dude, but most people dont get anything out of that part.
F
If Christians would just actually listen to Jesus, the world would be a better place.
T
[The Jefferson Bible](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson_Bible) is the core teachings attributed to Jesus as it basically takes out all of the supernatural which mostly leaves his preaching like the parables. Of course those are also the parts that most Christians ignore.
F
If they really listened to their lord, they’d have to become some kind of radical leftist. I don’t know what kind of modifications of the bible could tune their cognitive dissonance.
T
>If they really listened to their lord, they’d have to become some kind of radical leftist. If someone came along today who was a significant public figure pushing the same messages of Jesus in the bible (but couched in modern language) the MAGAsphere would rip the person to shreds calling them a radical leftist.
F
For sure!
W
Mine was Orange, and I got it for Christmas. They charged more to get your name put on the cover and on one of the first few pages with the title.
I
The fundamentalist church I grew up in would have called your NIV Bible blasphemy. Everyone knows God only really speaks in KJV…
D
Oh mine did too. They got me a KJV bible later on… The infighting is just fuckin NUTS man. And the NIV wasnt much more kind. There was still a brightly colored, bubble lettered annotation about the burning of Sodom and Gammorah because they had alot of homosexuals… Nope, not because they were selfish, hateful, and deeply unkind. The true sin was homosexuality and premarital coitus.
S
Everyone knows that the only problem with inviting someone into your house so you can gay rape them is the part about it being gay.
T
Sorry that happened to you my friend.
O
As a new father, this makes me so angry on your behalf. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved love. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you’re in a good place now.
D
Yeah i look back at some of the shit he cane up with and it’s just obvious he was a total sociopath. Narcissistic sociopath. I dont talk to him anymore, but i hear from others who know him that he frequently throws pity parties over the situation. A grown man shouldnt hit kids, or strip them and splash icewater on them, and definitely shouldnt do that while screaming “why dont you love me” It was pretty hardcore. I am in a better place now though. Ive got a best friend here that’s basically my sister, and at the moment im sitting out here with the 7 cats that have taken a liking to me out of a cat colony on the propety. They follow me all over the place lol. It’s very peaceful.
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*yeesh* I didnt become a parent, i dont think i have plans to eother. Id rather be the cat daddy. But i do have a soft spot for kids, and i make sure to listen to them when they talk to me, even if theyre kinda like little aliens to me. Make sure everything is alroght in their life, you know. I literally can’t imagine being like my father. The man was genuinely evil. Pathetically evil. I dont mean to keep goin on about it, but it has been on my mind alot lately. He was a sadist, he’d het real creative about shit. Once tried to ground me from petting or playing with my cat… but it was fine if the cat played with me… *what???*
W
Then when you read it more than them and can challenge their knowledge of it, they have to give you an extra lesson in “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
O
Holy shit im genuinely sorry to hear what you’ve gone through. The Bible is supposedly a tool to spread love but unfortunately most of the time it’s used to oppress and allows for hate because of everyone’s individual interpretation of it. Everyone silently judges each other in Christianity and those not in it. I hope you’ve found some peace since then.
D
Im actually still deeply religious, but very far from Christian. I found a god of my own understanding that’s compatible with the material of my soul. A goddess of love, kindness, nurturing, and protection. I place a high moral value on kindness as a response to my upbringing. She’s associated with cats, and i spend much of my time caring for them, making sure each of them are loved, played with, and well fed. Now working towards becoming a veterinarian. My parents abused animals, too, and I feel i understand the plight of living with intense emotions that you can’t verbalize. Im not down on people’s religion, so long as theyre true believers, practicing their principles with conviction. The most impactful spiritual conversation i ever had was with a Christian who sought to be christ-like, and soent his entire life helping others. I have undying respect for the man. Of course, most people talk the talk but dont walk the walk. That’s the true meaning of Jesus’ parable of the broad and narrow road. The true spiritual life is a difficult path of self discovery that presents you with challenging questions that nobody has an answer for, and requiring faith in dark times. Faith isn’t blind,unquestioning belief. Faith is sticking to your principles and values even when you have doubts. Even when you can’t see the meaning. It’s about taking the dogma out of your relationship with your higher power. People of true faith, no matter their belief, are less concerned with where they go when they die and more concerned with living according to where they see the most good in life. For me, Bastet is emblematic of this, because of the experiences I had with cats.Those who are strong in their faith arent bothered by people who believe differently, and instead judge others by the content of their character. In my opinion most people get it all twisted by approaching spirituality from a place of fear. My parents where chronically frightened, and miserable people. I won’t live that way. Im far more at peace now, and my beliefs actually preserve my sanity instead of eroding it. Beliefs I came to hold that are rooted in my own actions, affinities, and experiences. Sorry for the book. Thabks homie..
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> , so long as theyre true believers, practicing their principles with conviction. What if what they truly believe is frankly horrible? Personally i have no problem with you believing in your own cat god so long as you dont impact the happyness of others with it. Plenty of cultists/religious practice their principals with conviction. Inflicting untold pain on those around them. To be clear, not meaning to be argumentative of have a go at you. Sorry you had to put up with nutjob parents.
B
> Im not down on people’s religion, so long as theyre true believers, practicing their principles with conviction. Is that not what your parents did?
M
I was about to say the same thing. Sure a LOT of the various bibbles and works have been mistranslated and changed on purpose. But there’s still lots of unjustifiable things in them and always was and will be while it remains and easy method to control people.
W
If I could I’d give you gold. You are a very strong individual and I respect the fuck out of you..
D
Hey thank you man. Seeing this post i just had to tell a piece of my story. Thought id never lay eyes on that shit again.
M
Gave out my last one for you. Very Christ like dont you think? Haha, jk.
D
Shit you sure you ai t him? Actually thats my first gold so i really appreciate it dawg. [Buddy christ here]
B
Your note about “as long as they’re true believers”- every single- I mean every single, family included, supposed “Christian” is a hypocrite. I’ve become an atheist after seeing so much hypocrisy. People who with one face preach Jesus’ teachings, and with the other absolutely defy it. It’s maddening – especially when they try to preach it at me. I’m done with it.
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Ive ssen a few who do their best to live by it. Again thats what his broad and narrow road parable was all about. The basics- in life there are two roads. One which is overgrown and rarely tread. Narrow, winding, and lined with difficulties and obstacles. Unsure times. It can only be walked by one person at a time. Someone seeking a true relationship with god. This road leads you to god. The other is broad, paved, well taken care of. An easy walk. Most people choose this one and there’s plenty of room for company. Every church ive ever been to preaches that this narrow road is just being a christian. Sometimes their specific denomination of christian, and thatthe whole congregation is on that narrow path because they’re at this church and… they dont drink and have premarital sex, and they believe in that god, even though some people don’t, which counts as persecution to them. That’s their idea of difficulty, abstaining from popular pleasures and VERY occasionally being made fun of. The broad road is everybody else doing fun things kn life. Nevermind ascetics of other religions who DEFINITELY live tough, and disciplined kives. Aghpri, shaolin monks, hermits, so on… Nope, all those people are taking the easy way out. In this context a true believer is someone who really does their best to live by the example they claim to follow. Who really take pains to contemplate their spiritual life and their one on one relationship with their god. There’s just not many of them, but ive met a handful. Spiritual practice isnt just following a set of rules.
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